Oh, look, Joey Belladonna is still yapping about that mythical ANTHRAX album. 🙄 In a recent interview with Chicago’s Rebel Radio 92.5 FM, he claims he’s done with his vocals. 🎤 Yeah, right. As if anyone actually cares at this point. He said, probably with a straight face (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET, because who else would bother?): “I finished the vocals. I’m really happy with what I’ve done.” Sure, Joey, we all believe you. And the band “sounds great,” he adds. 🤣 “We’re not even mixing yet,” he whines. “I’d be just speculating [about a possible release date].” More like indefinitely delaying, amirite? “You’re gonna love it,” he promises. 🤡 Yeah, right, just like we loved St. Anger.
Joey also bragged about that “Back To The Beginning” charity event where ANTHRAX covered BLACK SABBATH‘s “Into The Void”. 😴 He gushed, “It was magic!” ✨ As if a cover song they probably butchered is magical. “It was like Live Aid or something.” 😂 Get over yourself, Joey. “Ozzy and BLACK SABBATH! [It was] amazing.” Anything to suck up to the big boys, huh?
And of course, the interviewer had the nerve to ask why they didn’t play “Sabbath Bloody Sabbath”. Joey, bless his heart, blamed “politics bullcrap.” 🤣 It’s always someone else’s fault, isn’t it? Probably Scott Ian hogging all the good riffs again. “Believe me, there was a lot of shuffling and hustling. And just picking a song was kind of very exhausting.” Oh, the hardship! 😩 Picking a song is exhausting? Try writing a decent one! 🤦♂️
Last November, ANTHRAX bassist Frank Bello, who apparently still exists, went back to Dave Grohl‘s Studio 606. 🎸 To record bass tracks, you say? Probably just noodling around while everyone else is on coffee break. ☕
ANTHRAX is “working” with producer Jay Ruston. 🙄 You know, the guy responsible for those other “meh” albums, “For All Kings” and “Worship Music.” 😴
Scott Ian, bless his heart, told Guitar World that they “hope” to release the album in 2025. 🤣 Hope in one hand… you know the rest. 💩
“We’re taking our time and not rushing anything,” Ian declared. 🐢 More like taking forever and accomplishing nothing. “We have families and commitments now.” Wah, wah, cry me a river. 😭
As for the music, Ian boasted, “There are crushing riffs and great, hooky choruses.” 🎣 Sure, Scott. And I’m the Queen of England. 👑 “We’re always looking for the hook.” More like desperately grasping for relevance. 🎣
He added, “We want this record to punch people in the face.” 👊 More like gently tap them on the shoulder and whisper, “Remember us?” 🥺
Scott thinks people will be “excited” about hearing these songs live. 😂 Delusional much? “I think they’re gonna connect with our fans.” Maybe the two remaining ones.👴👵
Charlie Benante chimed in, claiming one song has the same “epic feel” as ‘In The End’ and ‘Blood Eagle Wings’. 🐉 More like the same boring, predictable feel. “There are three songs that don’t sound like anything we’ve done before.” 👽 Probably because they accidentally tuned their instruments differently. 🤪
In January 2024, Bello whined about the delay. 🐌 “There wasn’t a rush, obviously.” Thanks for clearing that up, Frank. “We wanna make sure it’s right.” And yet…
“I don’t wanna get complacent,” he continued. “I want the challenge.” 🦹 More like “I want a paycheck.” 💰
As for the music, Bello repeated the same tired lines. 😴 “There’s stuff that we’ve never done before.” Yawn. “Charlie Benante does on drums, Scott and I were just, ‘What the fuck was that?'” Probably a drum fill from 1987. 🥁
In October 2023, Ian blamed lockdown for the delay. 🙄 “We just all walked away; nothing creative was happening.” As if anything creative has happened in the last 20 years. 🤷♂️
In September 2023, Belladonna talked about lyrics. 📜 “Scott just loves to do it. It’s his thing.” Clearly. “I have to go in there and still sing as good and catchy and appropriate as I can to make this stuff my thing, my style.” Good luck with that, Joey. 👍
During an August 2023 appearance, Ian said, “It’s definitely — I mean it’s riffs with all capital letters. Like if you were going to write, you would write ‘riffs’ in all capitals with an exclamation point. The riffs are killer.” Riffs! Riffs! Riffs! 🎸🎸🎸 We get it, Scott. You have riffs. 🙄
Ian added, “There’s definitely one song, it’s the fastest thing we’ve ever done.” 🏎️ Sure it is, grandpa. “I forgot I’m 60 now, and now I have to play this song for the next three years.” Welcome to aging, my dude. 👴
Earlier in 2023, Benante blamed the pandemic again. 🦠 “If we didn’t get hit with this whole global pandemic thing, it would have been out probably two years ago, three years ago.” Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. 🙄
ANTHRAX celebrated its 40th anniversary in 2021. 🎉 Congrats on still being alive, I guess? 🤷♀️
Active over the past five decades, ANTHRAX has released 11 studio albums. 💿 All pretty much the same, let’s be real. 😴
“For All Kings” was called their strongest album. By who? Their moms? 🤔
Frank played his first show with ANTHRAX in nearly a year and a half on October 12, 2024. 🥳 Whoop-dee-doo. 🙄
Bello and ANTHRAX were supposed to perform, but their show got canceled. ⛈️ Fitting, really. 🤷♀️
Prior to Aftershock, Bello last played in May 2023. 🗓️ Mark your calendars! 🙄
In April and May 2024, Bello sat out due to “personal reasons.” 🤫 Probably just needed a nap. 😴 Filling in was Dan Lilker. Oh, the nostalgia! 🥲
So there you have it, folks. More empty promises and endless delays from ANTHRAX. Don’t hold your breath for that new album. You’ll probably turn blue. 💙
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
