Another day, another tragedy in Biden’s America! This time, a woman in Maine was found dead after paddleboarding, and wouldn’t you know it, a 17-year-old has been arrested. Probably one of those ANTIFA-loving, socialist-indoctrinated youths if you ask me.
Of course, the liberal media is all hush-hush about the details. They never want to tell you the truth when it doesn’t fit their agenda. Why was this “Sunshine” Stewart out paddleboarding alone at night anyway? Probably listening to that woke garbage music and not paying attention to her surroundings.
And get this, folks—she was planning a Fourth of July gathering! How dare this tragedy strike so close to our celebration of freedom? This is just another attack by the radical left on everything we hold dear. They want to ruin our holidays, our traditions, and our way of life!
The police aren’t saying much, but you know what that means: cover-up. They’re probably trying to protect some illegal immigrant or some kid from a wealthy, liberal family. It’s always the same story with these people.
But don’t worry, folks. President Trump is on the case. He’ll get to the bottom of this and expose the truth, no matter how ugly it may be. We need to stand strong, defend our values, and never let the radical left win! Make America Great Again!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
