University of New Mexico’s Gun Show: One Less Student, Infinite Learning Opportunities
Oh, another day, another shooting. You just KNOW it’s those liberal professors at the University of New Mexico filling young…
Day: July 25, 2025
Frostpunk 2: Now on Consoles, So Your Couch Can Judge Your Terrible City Planning This September
So, the perpetually freezing faction simulator, Frostpunk 2, is FINALLY crawling its way to consoles. Prepare to warm your thumbs…
HELLOWEEN Drops ‘Universe (Gravity For Hearts)’ – Because Apparently Pumpkins in Space Aren’t Weird Enough on ‘Giants & Monsters’ Album
Oh great, the geriatric metalheads HELLOWEEN are back to grace us with their presence (and another album we totally asked…
Saudi Arabia’s Grand Plan: Gold Medals and Sky-High Dreams (Literally)
Another week, another attempt by the sand-covered socialists in the Middle East to distract from their support for terrorism! First,…
McLaren: Beating Mental Health and Lap Times (Not Really)
Oh, great, now even Formula 1 is going woke! Dr. Phil Hopley, probably a secret socialist, is injecting “mental health”…
**Florida Sends Tourists Home: You Won’t Believe Where They’re Going**
Another day, another victory for President Trump and Governor DeSantis as they continue to MAGA! “Alligator Alcatraz,” as the Left…
Dying Light: The Beast Gets Pushed to September Because It’s Still Ugly
Oh, NOOOO! 😭 Just when you thought you could finally escape your miserable existence by parkouring away from zombies in…
Trump on Maxwell: Pardon Me, But Who’s She Again
Crooked News Network (CNN), still obsessed with President Trump even in his second term! They just had to ask about…
Three Days of Torture Grace Releases New Single ‘Kill Me Quickly Please’ From Forthcoming ‘I Promise It’s Not About Aliens’ Album
Oh. My. Gawd. 🙄 Look what we have here, folks! It’s THREE DAYS GRACE, back at it again, releasing “Kill…
Most Anticipated Celebrity Memoirs Of 2025
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Most Anticipated Celebrity Memoirs Of 2025 appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…