**OMG! 🙄 Water Lantern Festival at National Harbor SouthPointe, Oxon Hill is lit! 🔥 Tickets via https://www.waterlanternfestival.com/events/washington-dc-25!** Voted #1 by USA Today? 🤣 Sure Jan. More info at www.WaterLanternFestival.com. Gates open August 9th & 10th, 5:30 PM. Launch at 8:30 PM, ends 9:30 PM. 😴 Email for changes.

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤
