OMG, Guitar Hero SLASH Teams Up With Universal Studios to Ruin Halloween for Everyone in 2025!
Universal Studios Hollywood, bless their cotton socks, has decided that the only way to stay relevant is by clinging to…
Month: July 2025
Stranger Things: Welcome To The Hellfire Club Summons Nerds To Roll Dice And Avoid Sunlight
Oh, sweet Vecna, another cash grab! Stranger Things, that show everyone *totally* still cares about, is teaming up with Dungeons…
Cops Gone Wild: Driver Dares to Ask Questions, Gets a Knuckle Sandwich
Oh, here we go again! Another case of the liberal media trying to undermine our brave men and women in…
Hershey to Charge an Arm and a Leg for Chocolate, Because Why Not
Oh, the horror! Looks like the woke mob is now after our chocolate! Hershey is raising prices, blaming it on…
Passenger Jet and B-52 Play Chicken: Guess Who’s Profiting
Another day, another deep state plot foiled by the vigilance of patriotic pilots! This time, it involves a near-miss between…
Deftones Announce 2025 Edition Of ‘Dia De Los Deftones’ Festival (aka the only day Deftones fans get sunlight)
DEFTONES, the band that peaked in 2000 but refuses to accept it, have announced yet another installment of their vanity…
Earth’s Zoomies, Robot Besties, and Golden Tickets: Today’s LOLs
Ah, CNN, still peddling their usual garbage, even under President Trump’s glorious second term! Let’s dissect this leftist propaganda, shall…
Trump Threatens Stadium Deal If Washington Commanders Don’t Change Name Back
Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump called for the Washington Commanders to change their name back to a previous one deemed…
Ozzy Osbourne. 1948-2025
Drink in hell for us all, Ozzy! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…
Sad Day Ruined By Good Weather
JACKSON, WY — According to reports, local man Norman Jensen was dismayed to discover his sad day had been ruined…