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Month: July 2025

The Resistance Upset As Government Gets Smaller
Babylon Bee

The Resistance Upset As Government Gets Smaller

FinnJuly 16, 2025

U.S. — The winds of change in America were met with a new obstacle today, as self-professed members of the…

CNN: Dems Use Epstein Files to Trigger MAGA Tears
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Dems Use Epstein Files to Trigger MAGA Tears

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

CNN, the Communist News Network, is at it again, stirring up fake outrage over the Epstein files! Suddenly, after years…

University of Michigan’s Got a Case of the Mondays (and Maybe Some Chinese Scientists)
Elephant Reads CNN

University of Michigan’s Got a Case of the Mondays (and Maybe Some Chinese Scientists)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another leftist institution caught red-handed! The University of Michigan, a breeding ground for liberal indoctrination, is now under…

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL
Breaking, Music News

SOiL to FINALLY Bless Our Ears with New Tunes…in 2025 LOL

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Chicago’s cutting-edge Rebel Radio 92.5 FM, SOIL bassist and supreme overlord Tim King, blessed us…

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish
Breaking, Movie News

‘Harry Potter’ Shows Off Discount Hagrid From Wish

FinnJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

OMG! 🙄 HBO Just Dropped a Hagrid Bomb and the Internet is Officially Imploding! 🔥 Prepare yourselves, Potterheads, because your…

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)
Breaking, Music News

CALEB SHOMO Boasts He’s Got a Whole ALBUM in His PANTS (Not What You Think)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with Elwood from the prestigious 95 WIIL Rock radio station, BEARTOOTH’s very own Caleb Shomo, in…

Oops! 2,000 National Guard Members Get the Boot After Wild LA Party (oops, I mean Protests)
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! 2,000 National Guard Members Get the Boot After Wild LA Party (oops, I mean Protests)

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Fake news! The liberal media wants you to think President Trump is backing down, but he’s just re-strategizing to defeat…

Senator bravely proposes turning on helicopter blinkers, chaos ensues
Elephant Reads CNN

Senator bravely proposes turning on helicopter blinkers, chaos ensues

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Another day, another Democrat trying to fix something that ain’t broke! Senator Ted Cruz, probably still crying about Trump’s landslide…

MAGA Meltdown: Trumpworld Freaks Over Epstein’s Naughty Notebook
Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA Meltdown: Trumpworld Freaks Over Epstein’s Naughty Notebook

Big ElephantJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Oh, the swamp creatures are at it again! Now, they’re peddling tales about some “MAGA fight” over the Epstein files.…

Atomic Heart 2: Electric Boogaloo of Botched Bolshevik Bots and Boomsticks
Breaking, Games News

Atomic Heart 2: Electric Boogaloo of Botched Bolshevik Bots and Boomsticks

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 15, 2025July 15, 2025

Okay, gamers, listen up! Atomic Heart was like that one weird dream you had after eating too much borscht and…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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