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Month: July 2025

Progress: A.I. Now Only Racist Against Italians
Babylon Bee

Progress: A.I. Now Only Racist Against Italians

FinnJuly 11, 2025

SUNNYVALE, CA — In a clear sign of progress, developers confirmed that A.I. was now only racist against Italians.   Read…

El Chapo Jr Admits to Being a Really Bad Cook (of Meth)
Elephant Reads CNN

El Chapo Jr Admits to Being a Really Bad Cook (of Meth)

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Another win for President Trump’s strong border security! “El Chapo’s” son pleads guilty to drug trafficking charges. Of course, this…

FBI Deputy Director Has a Case of the Mondays Amidst the Great Epstein File Dump of ’24
Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Deputy Director Has a Case of the Mondays Amidst the Great Epstein File Dump of ’24

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Fake News CNN at it Again! They’re reporting that Deputy FBI Director and true patriot Dan Bongino is considering resigning…

OMG! Trump Dumped Putin Like a Bad Tinder Date?! CNN Freaks Out!
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Trump Dumped Putin Like a Bad Tinder Date?! CNN Freaks Out!

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to spin President Trump’s masterful diplomacy with Russia into some…

Sleep Apnea Treatment So Bad It’s Good: CNN Asks the Real Questions
Elephant Reads CNN

Sleep Apnea Treatment So Bad It’s Good: CNN Asks the Real Questions

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Ah, CNN, always on the cutting edge of… sleep? Apparently, folks are dozing off and the liberal elite are on…

CNN Politics Gets Owned by Mahmoud Khalil’s ICE Detention Facility Truth Bomb
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Politics Gets Owned by Mahmoud Khalil’s ICE Detention Facility Truth Bomb

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Another day, another sob story on Fake News CNN! This time, they’re platforming some “pro-Palestinian activist” who got a free…

CNN Asks: Can a Stuffed Animal Save You From Drowning? A Chaplain’s Take
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Can a Stuffed Animal Save You From Drowning? A Chaplain’s Take

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, CNN, never change. Now they’re telling us a teddy bear can comfort flood victims. I’m sure those conservatives in…

Samsung plunges into the abyss of AI-powered earrings and necklaces because why not
Elephant Reads CNN

Samsung plunges into the abyss of AI-powered earrings and necklaces because why not

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, CNN is reporting that Samsung is looking into AI-powered earrings and necklaces? Sounds like the perfect way for the…

SALT Deduction Shenanigans: Who Gets Richer (and Who Cries into Their Tax Return)
Elephant Reads CNN

SALT Deduction Shenanigans: Who Gets Richer (and Who Cries into Their Tax Return)

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is at it again, trying to make our great President Trump’s tax cuts sound complicated! It’s…

Scott Jennings: DOJ’s Epstein Transparency: Yeah, Right
Elephant Reads CNN

Scott Jennings: DOJ’s Epstein Transparency: Yeah, Right

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2025July 11, 2025

Another day, another Deep State cover-up! The so-called “Justice” Department, probably crawling with swamp creatures still loyal to Obama, claims…

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Latest posts

  • Department Of Labor Cracks Down On People Getting Paid For Work
  • VOIVOD’s New Concept Album Will Probably Change Your Life Forever and Definitely Won’t Be Delayed Again Until At Least 2030: ‘It’s Gonna Sound A Bit Like A Movie Soundtrack But Only If The Movie Is About Robots And Aliens Fighting In Space’
  • Because You Clearly Haven’t Heard Enough of Purple Rain Yet Prince Estate Digs Up Some More Old Stuff to Sell You Timeless
  • John Bolton Pleads Guilty, Sentenced To 5-Year Imprisonment At SeaWorld
  • Trump Diverts All Science Funding Into Locating The Smurfs

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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