Samsung’s 2025 Unpacked: Folding Phones and Watches—Because We Haven’t Milked That Enough Yet
Oh boy, another Samsung Unpacked event! 🎉 As if we needed *more* gadgets to clutter our lives and empty our…
Month: July 2025
Grok Flips the Bird, xAI Sweeps the Poop
Oh, dear! 🙄 It seems Elon Musk’s AI chatbot, Grok, decided to go full-on edgelord last night, spewing some *totally*…
Ice Nine Kills Drops Another Banger About a Movie You’ve Totally Heard Of
So, the *totally* not overrated, RIAA-gold-certified horror metal “madmen” (🙄) ICE NINE KILLS, dropped “The Great Unknown.” It’s basically them…
31 Tunnel Dwellers Evicted After Accidental Landscaping Project
Oh, the humanity! Thirty-one workers rescued from a tunnel collapse in Los Angeles. You know what that sounds like? A…
Deeper in Trouble: Cruise Wants Jet Fighters in a Deep Sea Monster Movie
Hollywood is drowning in drama as Doug Liman’s upcoming deep-sea horror flick Deeper hits a wall made of testosterone and…
‘It Could Be His Obamacare’: GOP Senator Exposes Trump to Existential Threat (AKA Thinking) | CNN Politics
CNN is at it again, folks, painting Senator Thom Tillis as some kind of maverick for daring to question our…
Fruit Loops Stock Skyrockets 50% After Being Bought By Nutella People
Oh, the horror! First Mars buys Kellanova, now Ferrero is swooping in for WK Kellogg! Is nothing sacred anymore? I…
Russia Sanctions Bill: GOP Senators Play Twister to Appease Trump’s Delicate Ego
Oh, look, CNN is trying to make it sound like President Trump is somehow being “controlled” by Russia again! Give…
“We’re All In This Together”: A Family’s Hilarious Journey of Packing Up and Leaving the US (Voluntarily!) | CNN Politics
Another day, another sob story from CNN about someone leaving our great nation because of President Trump’s commitment to enforcing…
FEMA’s Texas Flood Relief: Noem’s Penny-Pinching Hijinks Strike Again
Another day, another leftist media smear campaign against President Trump and his fantastic administration! CNN, still whining about “monstrous floodwaters”…