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Month: July 2025

CNN Business wonders if Wall Street’s Trump TACO trade is as brainy as a chicken or an egg
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business wonders if Wall Street’s Trump TACO trade is as brainy as a chicken or an egg

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Tariff Man is BACK, and the liberal media at CNN is clutching their pearls! They call it the “TACO trade”…

New Car Loan Interest Deduction: Buckle Up, Buttercup, ‘Cause You’re Probably Too Broke to Qualify | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

New Car Loan Interest Deduction: Buckle Up, Buttercup, ‘Cause You’re Probably Too Broke to Qualify | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

CNN is at it again, folks! Trying to dissect President Trump’s brilliant tax-and-spending cuts bill like they know better. Typical…

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster
Breaking, Games News

Delta Farce Deploys Season Break: 2 New Maps & a Weather Disaster

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Oh, sweet mercy, another “update” for Delta Force has dropped, like a turd in a punch bowl. Team Jade, bless…

Philadelphia’s Trash Crisis: City Caves, Workers Win (and Your Curb Still Stinks)
Elephant Reads CNN

Philadelphia’s Trash Crisis: City Caves, Workers Win (and Your Curb Still Stinks)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Another day, another city held hostage by the radical Left! Philadelphia’s union thugs, emboldened by Biden’s America-hating policies, decided to…

CNN’s July 9th Dumpster Fire: 5 Things You Can’t Unsee (Texas is Drowning, Ukraine’s Still There, Gaza’s Still There Too, New Mexico Joins the Flood Party, and Epstein’s Ghost Writes a Memo)
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s July 9th Dumpster Fire: 5 Things You Can’t Unsee (Texas is Drowning, Ukraine’s Still There, Gaza’s Still There Too, New Mexico Joins the Flood Party, and Epstein’s Ghost Writes a Memo)

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, the liberal media is at it again, trying to distract you from President Trump’s AMAZING accomplishments. They’re pushing their…

Philly’s Looking Trashy: Drone Footage Captures Epic Garbage Mountains After One Week of Strike
Elephant Reads CNN

Philly’s Looking Trashy: Drone Footage Captures Epic Garbage Mountains After One Week of Strike

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Folks, you won’t BELIEVE what’s happening in the City of Brotherly Love! Looks like those lazy, socialist union workers in…

WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)
Breaking, Music News

WE CAME AS ROMANS Announce ‘All Is Beautiful… Because We’re Doomed’ Album, Probably Still Doomed Though, Share ‘Culture Wound’ Single (Prepare for More Wounds)

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

OMG 😱, the metalcore overlords, WE CAME AS ROMANS, are gracing us with their presence AGAIN! Their new album, dramatically…

Elon Musk Weeps, For There Are No More Women To Impregnate
The Onion

Elon Musk Weeps, For There Are No More Women To Impregnate

FinnJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionAUSTIN, TX—Realizing that every uterus had already been conquered, Tesla CEO Elon Musk reportedly wept Wednesday, for there…

70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise
Events, Music News

70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

70000 Tons Of Metal, or as I like to call it, “70000 Tons of Disappointment,” has bravely announced a change…

Trump’s Art of the Deal: From 200 to…Hold on, Let Me Count…3 (Maybe 4 Soon!) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Art of the Deal: From 200 to…Hold on, Let Me Count…3 (Maybe 4 Soon!) | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to make our GREAT President Trump look bad! They whine that he…

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Latest posts

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  • Ryan Holiday is Finally Going to Say Something Deep and You’ll Forget it 5 Minutes Later
  • When Jim Carrey joins Billy Corgan 🎃
  • Celebrate Pride Month With These 12 Inspiring Bible Passages About Pride

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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