Oh, no, not another movie where we have to Google “Does the dog die?” 🙄 Seriously, people, toughen up! If you can’t handle a fictional doggo biting the dust, maybe horror movies aren’t for you. Go watch “Air Bud” for the 87th time, and leave the real scares to the adults. But wait, what’s this? A movie where the DOG sees dead people? 🤯 Groundbreaking!
So, apparently, there’s a website called “doesthedogdie.com” for all you overly sensitive snowflakes who need a trigger warning before watching a movie with a *gasp* potentially deceased dog. 🐶 What a world we live in. But fear not, delicate daisies! Someone has finally decided to flip the script and ask the *real* question: “Does the dog see dead people?” 👻
Enter “Good Boy,” a cinematic masterpiece (or so they claim) that dares to tell a haunted house story from the perspective of… wait for it… a DOG! 🐕🦺 I can already smell the Oscar nominations. 🥇
The plot, as if it even matters, involves a dog named Indy who witnesses otherworldly terrors tormenting his human, Todd (played by some dude named Shane Jensen), after they move to a new house in the countryside. 🏡 Because, you know, nothing screams “originality” like a haunted house movie. 😴
Apparently, Indy, played by the director’s *actual* dog (because who needs acting skills when you have puppy-dog eyes? 🥺), is “disturbed” by a “malevolent presence” in the house. And, of course, being a dog, he can’t communicate with his human, who is blissfully unaware of the ghostly shenanigans. Cue the suspense! 🙄
I can’t wait to see how they pull this off. Will there be subtitles for the dog’s barks? Will he start solving mysteries Scooby-Doo style? 🤔 The possibilities are endless! (And equally ridiculous.)
But wait, there’s more! The director, Ben Leonberg, bless his heart, had the audacity to say that traditional filmmaking rules “go out the window” when your lead actor is a dog. 😂 I mean, who knew? Apparently, directing a dog involves making “silly noises,” posing him in “specific positions,” and bribing him with treats. 🦴 Sounds like my average Tuesday night.
And get this: the director even ended up *acting* in the movie because he’s one of the two people Indy “truly loves and listens to.” 🤣 Oh, the ego! I’m sure Meryl Streep is shaking in her boots. 🥾
Anyway, Shudder and IFC (whoever they are) have acquired the rights to this cinematic masterpiece, and they’re calling it a “singular experience in perspective-driven horror.” 🤣 I’m pretty sure the only thing singular about it is how utterly absurd it sounds. 🤪
Emily Grotto, some bigwig at Shudder, even said that the film delivers a “haunting and emotional experience” and introduces a “surprising standout performance” from Indy. 🎭 I’m calling it now: Indy for Best Actor! 🏆
“Good Boy” is set to “wag its way” into theaters on October 3, 2025. 🗓️ Mark your calendars, folks, because this is either going to be the worst movie ever made or a so-bad-it’s-good cult classic. Either way, I’ll be there with popcorn and a healthy dose of skepticism. 🍿🤨
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
