Texas Democrats Walk Out, Now Walk Aimlessly Into the Abyss
Another day, another Democrat disaster! These Texas Dems, bless their hearts, fled to Illinois to avoid voting on a new…
Month: August 2025
Aerosmith Reunion: Get Ready for Geriatric Rock ‘n’ Roll
So, apparently, AEROSMITH, those dinosaurs of rock, are contemplating *another* farewell concert? 😂 Like, haven’t they milked this retirement thing…
TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…
Thanos: Yeah, I’d Snap Back for the Right Price, Losers
Thanos, that big purple grape🍇 who got turned into dust and then got his head lopped off in Avengers: Endgame…
Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil 🇧🇷 (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…
Bernie “Fight the Man” Sanders Tells Dems to “Fight the (Redistricting) Man,” CNN Agrees, World Yawns
Bernie Sanders, still kicking and screaming about Trump’s success! He whines about Texas Republicans’ redistricting, calling it an attempt to…
Circle Pit on Pig Destroyer set (Brutal Assault 2025)
That was epic! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is…
Texas floods: Now with 100% more dino footprints (dirt and debris sold separately)
Oh, the liberal media is all excited about some “dinosaur tracks” found after the Texas floods. You know what I…
Montana’s Wild West Reenactment Goes Horribly Wrong: A Week of Trigger-Happy Tomfoolery
Oh, the tranquility of small-town America, shattered by yet another veteran! Clearly, the liberals’ woke policies on mental health are…
Bad Guys 2: Prepare for More Mediocrity This August
**OMG! 🙄 Drive-in movies are back! 🚗💨 Admission: $18-$28 per car (2-6 ppl). Extra peeps? $5 (cash only, obvi). Park…