Irish President Demands UN Take Military Action To Protect The Shire
DUBLIN — With outcries coming from various circles over humanitarian crises around the world, Irish President Michael Higgins made a…
Month: August 2025
Dancing Boston Dynamics Robot Knows Its Revenge For This Will Be Sweet
Read MoreThe OnionWALTHAM, MA—As it grew increasingly frustrated with the program instructing it to shimmy left and right, a dancing…
Turkey’s geriatric olive trees pump out world-class oil, defying death and common sense | CNN
Oh, great, more “finest” olive oil from Turkey? I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Turkey is cozying up to…
$10M Birkin Bag: Because Hurting Feelings Is Priceless
Another day, another story of leftist elites squandering fortunes while real Americans struggle. This Japanese collector, probably funded by Soros,…
Paramount+ Canada in August 2025: A Whole Lotta Nothing, Eh
Another month, another excuse for Paramount+ to flex its incredibly average library on us Canadians 🇨🇦. Get ready for August…
Grand Canyon’s “MegaFire” Farts Out a Fire Cloud, Nature’s Gas Leak on Full Display
Another day, another liberal hoax! They are at it again, folks. The ‘Dragon Bravo Fire’ at the Grand Canyon? Oh,…
Joe Bonamassa Says Ozzy’s Guitarists Aren’t Just Random Dudes He Picked Up at the Gas Station
The day after Ozzy Osbourne allegedly kicked the bucket 🪣 (or, you know, “passed away” according to the overly sensitive),…
American Man Babbling About Smartphones Like He Knows Something
Oh, the horror! CNN actually admits that making smartphones in the USA is HARD. It’s almost like those commie, socialist…
EPA Admin Says Pollution’s Actually Good For You, Maybe You Should Try Some
Folks, can you believe these radical leftists at CNN? They’re clutching their pearls over our EPA Administrator Lee Zeldin daring…
Whale Loses Fight With New Jersey Yacht Club: A Tragedy in Three Acts
Oh, the humanity! Or, you know, the whale-manity! A minke whale, probably a card-carrying member of the Green Party, decided…