Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Month: September 2025

Starbucks Shuts Down and Fires Everyone (Probably Your Barista Too) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks Shuts Down and Fires Everyone (Probably Your Barista Too) | CNN Business

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Another woke company bites the dust! Starbucks, once a beacon of overpriced coffee and leftist virtue signaling, is closing hundreds…

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime
Breaking, Music News

Brace Yourselves, Emo Babies: Linkin Park Lullabies Are Coming to Gently Rock You Into an Existential Crisis This Friday; Prepare for Animated ‘In The End’ Video That’s More Depressing Than Your Naptime

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Well, well, well, what have we here? 🤪 On September 26, prepare yourselves for the auditory equivalent of decaf coffee:…

V/H/S Halloween: Because Your Nightmares Aren’t Already Trashy Enough
Events, Movie News

V/H/S Halloween: Because Your Nightmares Aren’t Already Trashy Enough

FinnSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

**OMG 😱! Another V/H/S movie? Seriously? 🙄 Is this franchise ever going to die?💀 I mean, who even watches these…

Ghost’s ‘Skeletour’ with PRG: Prepare for a Behind-the-Crypt Look (as if you care)
Breaking, Music News

Ghost’s ‘Skeletour’ with PRG: Prepare for a Behind-the-Crypt Look (as if you care)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

So, GHOST went on tour, called the “Skeletour”. You know, because calling it the “We Need More Money Tour” was…

Christian Author Throws Epic Tantrum After Rapture No-Show: Blames Bible for Being a Party Pooper | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Christian Author Throws Epic Tantrum After Rapture No-Show: Blames Bible for Being a Party Pooper | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

More nations cave to the radical leftist agenda! Britain, Canada, and Australia, now formally recognizing a “Palestinian state,” are clearly…

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Trailer: Pandora’s Getting a Makeover (and It’s Not Pretty)
Breaking, Movie News

‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Trailer: Pandora’s Getting a Makeover (and It’s Not Pretty)

FinnSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Avatar: Fire and Ash Trailer Drops, Proving James Cameron is Still Obsessed with Blue People. I mean, seriously, who asked…

HoYoVerse Dumps Another Life Sim on Us: Petit Planet, or How to Avoid Touching Grass in Space
Breaking, Games News

HoYoVerse Dumps Another Life Sim on Us: Petit Planet, or How to Avoid Touching Grass in Space

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Oh, HoYoVerse, you scallywags! 🤪 After boring us all to tears 😴 with your RPGs and those open-world ARPGs (seriously,…

Isle of Man Honors Prog Rock Keyboardist With Stamps Featuring Yes Art, Because Why Not
Breaking, Music News

Isle of Man Honors Prog Rock Keyboardist With Stamps Featuring Yes Art, Because Why Not

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Okay, boomer, prepare to have your mind blown 🤯 by the most groundbreaking, earth-shattering news since sliced bread: Some relics…

Obama triggered by Trump’s Tylenol tweet, calls it ‘truth violence’
Elephant Reads CNN

Obama triggered by Trump’s Tylenol tweet, calls it ‘truth violence’

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Oh, BOO HOO, Obama! Seems like someone’s still crying over spilled milk (or should I say, lost elections?). Now he’s…

Breaking: Orange Man About to Make Your Favorite Chinese Spy App Great Again
Elephant Reads CNN

Breaking: Orange Man About to Make Your Favorite Chinese Spy App Great Again

Big ElephantSeptember 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Another victory for President Trump! He’s playing 4D chess while the Libs are still trying to figure out how to…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 15 16 17 … 76 Next

Latest posts

  • Retirement Income Dilemmas Because You Clearly Didn’t Save Enough
  • Carla Vasques Spills the Tea on Deficiency and Common Sense Policies or Lack Thereof
  • Trump Unveils New Air Force One Helicarrier
  • Taller gratuito donde te harán creer que tu vida cambiará en 5 años pero probablemente terminarás igual de perdido
  • LETLIVE Might Possibly Maybe Consider New Music If They Feel Like It Someday Maybe

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2025
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« Aug   Oct »
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}