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Day: November 18, 2025

Exclusive Soup Kitchen Offers Free Meals By Invite Only
The Onion

Exclusive Soup Kitchen Offers Free Meals By Invite Only

FinnNovember 18, 2025

       OLYMPIA, WA—Sitting back to savor the 10-course broth-based haute cuisine, guests at the Northwest Community Center told reporters Tuesday…

MAGA Meltdown: Civil War Edition
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

MAGA Meltdown: Civil War Edition

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Another day, another Deep State plot! Even with our glorious leader, President Trump, at the helm for his *second* term,…

Oops! Some Guy Screwed Up a Label and Now a Giant Boat’s Playing Demolition Derby With a Bridge, Says Nerdy Bureaucrats
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Some Guy Screwed Up a Label and Now a Giant Boat’s Playing Demolition Derby With a Bridge, Says Nerdy Bureaucrats

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Another day, another disaster courtesy of…wait for it…a LABEL! Apparently, a misplaced sticker on a wire caused a cargo ship…

Babylon Bee

Troubling New Survey Shows 90 Percent Of Graduating High School Seniors Don’t Know The Airspeed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow

FinnNovember 18, 2025

    PALO ALTO, CA — A startling new study out of Stanford University shows almost all graduating high school seniors…

Gran Turismo 7 Gives New Players a Measly 1.5M Credits While the Franchise Pathetically Brags About Some “Historic” Milestone
Breaking, Games News

Gran Turismo 7 Gives New Players a Measly 1.5M Credits While the Franchise Pathetically Brags About Some “Historic” Milestone

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Gran Turismo 7, the game that’s been milking our wallets dry for THREE YEARS, has apparently…

Apple Declares New Podcast King, Listeners Everywhere Shrug
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Apple Declares New Podcast King, Listeners Everywhere Shrug

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? Joe Rogan, a true patriot, has taken the #1 spot on Apple Podcasts! Finally, some…

OMG! Silent Hill: Townfall Release Date Just Fell Out of the Sky and It’s, Like, Tomorrow
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Silent Hill: Townfall Release Date Just Fell Out of the Sky and It’s, Like, Tomorrow

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

So, apparently, the dumpster fire 🔥 that is Silent Hill: Townfall might actually see the light of day! Get ready…

Trump Admin Hilariously Relocates Ed Department Offices in Epic Dismantling Shenanigans
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Admin Hilariously Relocates Ed Department Offices in Epic Dismantling Shenanigans

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

The swamp is being drained, folks! Our glorious President Trump is fulfilling his promise to dismantle the radical leftist indoctrination…

Texas National Guard GTFO of Chicago, Source Claims
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas National Guard GTFO of Chicago, Source Claims

Big ElephantNovember 18, 2025November 18, 2025

Another victory for the radical leftist judges! The Texas National Guard, sent to Chicago by our great President Trump to…

‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool 
The Onion

‘We’re Off To See The World!’ Shout Saluting Trump Boys Setting Sail On D.C. Reflecting Pool 

FinnNovember 18, 2025

       WASHINGTON—Embarking on their self-described “diplomatic voyage” at the National Mall Tuesday while their wives and children waved goodbye, Eric…

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  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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