OMG! 😱 You won’t BELIEVE what IO Interactive’s CEO, Hakan Abrak, just said about the future of Hitman! Turns out, after milking Hitman: World of Assassination for all it’s worth, they MIGHT make another one… eventually. But hold your horses, Agent 47 fans, because CO-OP IS COMING FIRST! 🤣 Because what this franchise REALLY needs is two bald dudes awkwardly sneaking around together. 🙄 #Hitman #CoopFail #GamingNews #Agent47 #IOInteractive #Eminem #SlimShady #WorldOfAssassination #Gaming
Hitman: World of Assassination, or as I like to call it, “The Game That Refuses to Die,” keeps popping up like a bad penny. First, they shoehorned Agent 47 into a Bond mission, probably because they realized 007 First Light is going to be a bigger flop than their last attempt at innovation. 📉 Then, they got Eminem (or, more accurately, his digital likeness) to fight himself. Genius! Pure, unadulterated genius! 🧠 Who needs a compelling story when you can have celebrity cameos, am I right? 🤷♀️
In his infinite wisdom, Hakan Abrak graced Variety with his presence and casually dropped the bomb that, yes, Virginia, there will be more Hitman. But before you start celebrating, remember that co-op is their priority. Because nothing screams “stealth assassin” like tag-teaming unsuspecting targets with your buddy. 👬 Seriously, who asked for this? Show yourselves! 🫵 I bet it was the same people who thought NFTs were a good idea. 🤦♀️
Apparently, IO Interactive cares deeply about the artistic integrity of their celebrity cameos. They meticulously worked with Eminem to ensure that his persona was distinct from Slim Shady. Groundbreaking! 🙄 I’m sure Eminem was thrilled to have his digital alter ego meticulously crafted for a video game where you can kill him with a rubber duck. 🦆 The CEO went on to say that these cameos are a “surprising, exciting, and really good fit.” I’m starting to think he’s been hitting the sauce a little too hard. 🍷
So, if you’re desperate for more Hitman content and have a burning desire to watch Eminem battle himself, you can dive into the Eminem vs. Slim Shady DLC. It’s free, which is probably the only reason anyone is playing it. 🤷♂️ Just don’t get your hopes up for Hitman 4 anytime soon. IO Interactive has bigger fish to fry… like figuring out how to make co-op assassinations not completely ridiculous. Good luck with that! 👍 #Hitman4Where #GamingTroll #EminemVsSlimShady #CoopGaming #GamingNews
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
