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Day: March 2, 2026

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere
Hold Onto Your Mosh Pits, Nerds: METALLICA Is Coming to Sphere, and Your Bank Account Will Never Recover
Breaking, Music News

METALLICA: Because Las Vegas Wasn’t Loud Enough, Here Come Six More Shows to Melt Your Ears at the Sphere

Chord F. DiscordMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh look, another announcement that’s going to make every metalhead with disposable income hyperventilate. METALLICA, those delightful four horsemen of…

Trump’s Neck Rash? Just His Skin’s Way of ‘Preventing’ Criticism!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Neck Rash? Just His Skin’s Way of ‘Preventing’ Criticism!

Big ElephantMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh no, poor baby Trump has a rash! Quick, somebody get the president a tiny violin! It’s truly heartbreaking to…

Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna
The Onion

Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna

FinnMarch 2, 2026

       The post Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna appeared first on The Onion.    The post Trump Creates…

Babylon Bee

Man Goes Back In Time To Mesmerize Ancients With Futuristic Technology Of Gushers

FinnMarch 2, 2026

    EGYPT — Newly unearthed records appear to indicate a man claiming to be from the future traveled to ancient…

Events

“Social Media Content Without the Cringe: How to Not Suck at Arts & Culture Storytelling”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 2, 2026

Social media content without the cringe: Storytelling for Arts & Culture 🎭✨ Tired of awkward dances and forced trends? This…

Events

“Massive What? A Hilarious Look at Your Grand Plans!”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 2, 2026

Ah, finalmente un webinar per aiutare gli studenti a scegliere l’università! Perché niente dice “decisione importante” come ascoltare Alessandro D’Avenia…

Data Centers By The Numbers
The Onion

Data Centers By The Numbers

FinnMarch 2, 2026

       The surge in AI, cryptocurrency, and other digital assets is rapidly increasing demand for computational infrastructure around the country.…

The Shark That Roared – Now Featuring Even More Revenge and Less Logic!
The Revenge That Just Won't Die: Someone Actually Made a Documentary About Jaws: The Revenge
Breaking, Movie News

The Shark That Roared – Now Featuring Even More Revenge and Less Logic!

FinnMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Well, folks, humanity has officially peaked. Someone out there in the great wide world decided that what we really needed…

Hollywood Minute: ‘Sinners,’ ‘The Studio,’ and ‘The Pitt’ Cast Members Top The Actor Awards (Because Apparently We Needed Another Award Show)
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hollywood Minute: ‘Sinners,’ ‘The Studio,’ and ‘The Pitt’ Cast Members Top The Actor Awards (Because Apparently We Needed Another Award Show)

Big ElephantMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Hey Hollywood snowflakes, looks like your SAG-AFTRA awards just got a new name, but the only thing changing is the…

PS5 Owners Gasping for Starfield as Leak Breaks Hearts and Sets the Internet Ablaze
🚨 BREAKING: Starfield Finally Leaves Xbox Jail, PS5 Gets Its Space Prisoner! 🚨
Breaking, Games News

PS5 Owners Gasping for Starfield as Leak Breaks Hearts and Sets the Internet Ablaze

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMarch 2, 2026March 2, 2026

Oh look, it’s happening! After Xbox executives realized they couldn’t afford toilet paper anymore (thanks to those “strategic” acquisitions), they’re…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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