Oh great, another McDonagh film where people say “f***” a lot and stare at each other menacingly. But hey, this time they’re doing it on Easter Island, so… scenic?
The official trailer and poster for **Martin McDonagh’s Wild Horse Nine** have officially escaped the editing room, just in time for you to pretend you’re cultured before the 6th of November UK/Ireland cinema dump. Plot? Sure, here it is: two CIA agents—Chris (John Malkovich, still somehow terrifying) and Lee (Sam Rockwell, permanently squinting)—are shipped off to Easter Island by their boss MJ (Steve Buscemi, probably wearing a Hawaiian shirt under that suit). It’s 1973, Chile’s about to have a *little* coup, and our heroes are too busy bickering about their dark pasts to notice the statues judging them. Then Chris meets two rebellious students (Mariana di Girolamo and Ailín Salas), and suddenly it’s like *The Hangover* but with more geopolitical tension and fewer tiger sightings.
The trailer? Oh, it’s a masterpiece of dramatic pauses and people walking slowly toward the camera while moody music swells. Tom Waits is in it, so you know someone’s about to smoke a cigarette in slow motion. Parker Posey is there too, probably delivering a line so dry it could cure meat. And let’s not forget the screenplay—written by McDonagh, so expect plenty of “witty” banter that’ll make you chuckle politely while wondering if anyone in the film has ever heard of a therapist.
So mark your calendars, folks. On November 6th, you too can sit in a dark room and watch highly trained spies fumble around ancient monoliths while history burns in the background. Or just stay home and Google pictures of the real Easter Island statues—they’re cheaper and won’t make you question your life choices. Your call. 🎭🗿
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
