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Day: July 9, 2026

Trump Asks Supreme Court For Mulligan Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Asks Supreme Court For Mulligan Because Why Not

Big ElephantJuly 9, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Trump is at it again, trying to get the Supreme…

Nazi Really Regretting Getting Graham Platner Tattoo
Babylon Bee

Nazi Really Regretting Getting Graham Platner Tattoo

FinnJuly 9, 2026

    BANGOR, ME — In the wake of the Democratic nominee suspending his Senate campaign, local Nazi Wade Marks expressed…

What To Know About The Live-Action ‘Moana’
The Onion

What To Know About The Live-Action ‘Moana’

FinnJuly 9, 2026

       Disney’s live-action remake of Moana comes to theaters this weekend, a decade after the original animated film was released.…

Paris Jackson Drops New Album Happiest Day Of My Life
Live, Music News

Paris Jackson Drops New Album Happiest Day Of My Life

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026

Paris Jackson has announced her sophomore album, HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE, out on August 21st. HAPPIEST DAY OF MY…

Jack White Kicks Off North American Tour At 51
Live, Music News

Jack White Kicks Off North American Tour At 51

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026

It’s a big week for Jack White: He turns 51 today, kicks off a new North American tour tonight, and…

Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously
Breaking, Games News

Because We Needed Another Apex Legends Crossover Obviously

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet, EA and Respawn Entertainment are teaming up with CD PROJEKT RED…

Jon Bon Jovi sells soul to tech bros for MSG hologram cash grab
Breaking, Music News

Jon Bon Jovi sells soul to tech bros for MSG hologram cash grab

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because what the world really needed was a hologram of Jon Bon Jovi, Superfan.Live has debuted the Jon Bon Jovi…

Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough
Breaking, Music News

Nick Barker Gets Mysterious Disease Because His Music Wasnt Aggressive Enough

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

I just spilled my beer all over my favorite black metal t-shirt, and it’s not even like I’m surprised. I…

Because You Clearly Need Another Classic Pop Fix Now
Breaking, Music News

Because You Clearly Need Another Classic Pop Fix Now

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

In the latest issue of Classic Pop, it’s like the music industry is throwing a big ol’ party and everyone’s…

Dune Part 3 Trailer Leaks and Fans are Totally Not Freaking Out About the 12 Minute Long Shot of Paul Atreides Looking Moody in the Desert
Breaking, Movie News

Dune Part 3 Trailer Leaks and Fans are Totally Not Freaking Out About the 12 Minute Long Shot of Paul Atreides Looking Moody in the Desert

FinnJuly 9, 2026July 9, 2026

Because we’re about to dive into the most epic conclusion to a trilogy ever – Dune: Part Three! 🎥👑 I…

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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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