Oh boy, are you in for a treat! Imagine being able to travel back in time on vacation, because who wouldn’t want to relive the thrill of wearing funny hats and using outdated technology? 🕰️ In the not-so-distant future, this is a reality in Jenna Cato Bass’s newest film, Future Tense, which is basically like a time-traveling Tinder date gone wrong 📆💔.
So, the movie starts with Lwando (Lawrence Maleka) and his girlfriend Tara (Kristen Raath) preparing to leave the Cape Town chronological departure terminal, because who doesn’t love a good bureaucratic title? 🛫️ They’re off to the year 1647, because why not? 🤷♀️ When they arrive, they find a modern building with all the amenities, but it’s in the middle of nowhere, like a futuristic timeshare presentation 🏖️. And, of course, there are soldiers and surveillance drones to keep them from changing history, because that’s not a recipe for disaster or anything 🚀.
Tara just wants to work on their relationship, but Lwando has other plans, like changing the course of history, because that’s always a good idea 😂. He wants to prevent the colonization of Africa, which is like trying to prevent a teenager from using their phone 📵. But, hey, it’s a nice thought, right? 🤗 The movie jumps back and forth in time, revealing more of the backstory of Tara and Lwando, which is like trying to solve a puzzle blindfolded while being attacked by a swarm of bees 🧩.
The first hour of the movie is actually pretty good, like a nice glass of wine on a Friday night 🍷. But then, things start to get weird, like your aunt at a family reunion 🎉. The last 20 minutes are like trying to solve a math problem while being distracted by a cat video 📝. I’m not even kidding, I’m still confused, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one 🤔.
The production value is great, like a fancy restaurant with a confusing menu 🍴. The scope of the film is ambitious, like trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself 🍕. But, in the end, it’s like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without instructions 🛋️. You’ll be left with more questions than answers, like “what just happened?” and “where’s the snack bar?” 🍿.
The movie had its world premiere at the 2026 Toronto International Film Festival, because who doesn’t love a good festival? 🎉. If you want to learn more, you can head to tiff.net, but be warned, it’s like trying to navigate a website from the 90s 📚. So, if you’re feeling adventurous, go ahead and watch Future Tense, but don’t say I didn’t warn you 🚨. 🎥👍
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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