The Waterfront’ gets a solid 5.5 out of 10 stars, which is basically the participation trophy of TV ratings. 🏆 Netflix, desperate for another ‘Yellowstone,’ apparently greenlit this dumpster fire. 🔥
Released on Netflix on June 19th, ‘The Waterfront’ is the brainchild of Kevin Williamson, the guy who peaked in the 90s with ‘Dawson’s Creek’ and ‘The Vampire Diaries.’🧛♂️ You know, because what the world really needs is another crime drama from the master of teen angst. 🙄
The cast includes Holt McCallany (‘Mindhunter’), who probably regrets this career choice, Maria Bello (‘A History of Violence’), Melissa Benoist (‘Supergirl’), who clearly needed a paycheck, Jake Weary (‘It Follows’), and Rafael L. Silva (‘9-1-1: Lone Star’). Basically, a bunch of talented people who got lost on their way to a better show. 🗺️
Kevin Williamson, bless his heart, thinks he’s still got it. He’s been churning out TV shows since ‘Wasteland’ and ‘Glory Days,’ which, let’s be honest, no one remembers. He made his name off the early ‘Scream’ movies, and now Netflix is throwing money at him like it’s Monopoly money. 💰 The result? A show that’s basically every other crime drama Netflix has ever launched, especially those trying to ride the coattails of Taylor Sheridan’s ‘Yellowstone.’ 🐴
But here’s the thing: this genre requires careful guidance, and ‘The Waterfront’ is like a ship without a rudder. 🚢 It’s got all the tropes and traps, but none of the finesse.
The writing is the show’s biggest problem. We’ve seen this story a million times: a family with a respectable facade hiding criminal motives. 😴 How many more times do we have to watch a manly patriarch struggle to escape his father’s shadow? Confront enemies trying to destroy his business? Deal with a troubled son who cheats on his wife? 🙄
And of course, there’s the former addict daughter who lost custody of her kid and resents everyone. 🙄 It’s like they’re ticking off boxes on a crime drama checklist. 📝
Williamson and his writers serve up a reheated casserole of tired concepts. There’s nothing fresh here, folks. 🗑️
The direction is equally bland. Sure, there are some pretty backdrops, but Erica Dunton, Liz Friedlander, and Marcos Siega seem to be sleepwalking through this project. 😴 At least they have a talented cast to work with, even if they’re given nothing to do.
Holt McCallany can play this kind of role in his sleep, and honestly, he probably did. He’s got that rugged charisma, but it’s wasted here. Maria Bello doesn’t get enough to do, but she’s a good scene partner for McCallany. Melissa Benoist tries her best with the “struggling addict” role, but it’s just not satisfying. 😔
Jake Weary is distinctly average as the troubled son. It’s not entirely his fault; the role is just poorly written.
Topher Grace shows up as a drug kingpin and seems to be the only one having any fun. 🎉 He punishes his enemies with a truck-mounted machine gun, which is the only genuinely entertaining thing in the whole show. He’s not in many episodes, but the show is better for his presence.
‘The Waterfront’ is likely to sink faster than the Titanic. 🧊 There are just too many better shows out there, especially those ‘Yellowstone’ spin-offs. If you’re a die-hard fan of the cast or the genre, maybe give it a shot. But otherwise, don’t waste your time. ⏳
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
