Ah, DEICIDE, those Floridian death metal legends 👴 who’ve been churning out the same album for, like, 30 years. They’ve apparently decided their revolving door of guitarists needed another spin! Jadran “Conan” Gonzalez (formerly of EXMORTUS – yeah, I had to Google them too 🤷) is the lucky sap stepping into the shoes of longtime guitarist Kevin Quirion. Conan will be forced to play those same old riffs on the band’s upcoming tour with BEHEMOTH in Latin America. Kicks off September 19 in Curitiba, Brazil. Get ready for some serious headbanging… or maybe just some serious déjà vu 😵.
Conan, bless his heart, is quoted as saying: “I’m thrilled and honored to jam amongst such legends as Glen [Benton, bass/vocals] and Steve [Asheim, drums] and to hang with the rest of the team. I thank them for having me on board. I’m looking forward to unleashing hell in Latin America on this tour.” Oh honey, you have no idea what you’ve signed up for. Unleashing hell? More like unleashing the same tired setlist for the thousandth time 😴.
Quirion, who finally escaped DEICIDE in April 2025, posted on social media: “So after 15 years I decided to leave the band. Mainly I’m just done with touring and would like to spend the extra time with my family. I will still be writing songs and have already sent some to Derek Roddy and Sean Baxter to release under the COUNCIL OF THE FALLEN name. There will be no labels or shows, just putting out EPs whenever we feel like it.” Translation: “I’m old, tired, and I’d rather watch paint dry than play ‘Homage for Satan’ one more time. Peace out ✌️!” Good for him! Family time is precious, especially when you’re not stuck on a tour bus with Glen Benton.
Apparently, Quirion graced us with his presence on the last three DEICIDE albums: “In The Minds Of Evil” (2013), “Overtures Of Blasphemy” (2017) and “Banished By Sin” (2024). I bet you can’t tell them apart! They all sound exactly the same anyway 😂.
Remember last October when DEICIDE bailed on the last three shows of their North American tour with KRISIUN, INFERI, and CLOAK? They ran home “to protect” their “families and properties” from a hurricane. Priorities, people! Can’t spread blasphemy if your house is underwater, am I right? 🤷♂️
Speaking of blasphemy, DEICIDE‘s latest masterpiece, “Banished By Sin”, dropped in April 2024 via Reigning Phoenix Music. I’m sure it’s full of the same anti-Christian lyrics and blast beats we’ve all come to expect. Groundbreaking! 🙄
In February 2024, they released the single “Sever The Tongue”. Recorded at Smoke & Mirrors with Jeramie Kling, and mixed/mastered by Josh Wilbur. Bet those guys are thrilled to have that on their resumes.
They even made a video for “Sever The Tongue” with David Brodsky from My Good Eye: Music Visuals. Visually arresting? More like visually repetitive! How many crosses can you invert before it gets old? 🤔 A lot, apparently.
And who could forget their Christmas gift to us all in 2023: “Bury The Cross…With Your Christ”? So edgy! 🎅🔪 Just what everyone wants to hear during the holidays.
Let’s not forget about Taylor Nordberg (THE ABSENCE, INHUMAN CONDITION), who briefly filled in on guitar starting May 21, 2022. Remember him? No? Me neither.
Before him, there was Chris Cannella, who “amicably” left in January 2022 after a whole three years! A veritable eternity in DEICIDE years.
Chris replaced Mark English, who replaced Jack Owen. It’s like a game of musical chairs, but with more corpse paint.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
