So, another Roald Dahl adaptation, huh? 🙄 You know, the guy who probably rolled in his grave when they announced this. The Twits? More like The Awfuls, amirite? This cinematic masterpiece (I use the term loosely) is brought to you by Phil Johnston, a name I’m sure you’ve definitely heard of (probably not). He produced, directed, AND co-wrote it! What a triple threat… to the sanctity of children’s literature.э
Mr. and Mrs. Twit, the meanest, smelliest, nastiest people in the world, own and operate the most disgusting, dangerous, and idiotic amusement park in the world: Twitlandia. When the Twits rise to power in their town, two brave children – Beesha and Bubsy – and a family of magical Muggle-Wumps, are forced to become as tricky as the Twits in order to save the city.
Let’s talk about this all-star voice cast, shall we? We’ve got Margo Martindale and Johnny Vegas as the titular Twits, because who else would you cast to play characters known for their charm and charisma? 🤮 And hold on to your hats, folks, because we’ve also got Natalie Portman, Emilia Clarke, Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, Ryan Lopez, Jason Mantzoukas, Timothy Simons, Alan Tudyk, and Nicole Byer! Yes, all these talented people decided this was the project they wanted to lend their voices to. I’m sure their agents are thrilled. 😄
The plot, you ask? Oh, it’s a real winner. The Twits, the “meanest, smelliest, nastiest people in the world,” own and operate “the most disgusting, dangerous, and idiotic amusement park in the world: Twitlandia.” Because, you know, that’s totally believable. And when they “rise to power” (how does that even happen?), two kids and a family of “magical Muggle-Wumps” have to become as tricky as the Twits to save the city. Muggle-Wumps? Really? Is this a Harry Potter/Roald Dahl crossover fanfic gone wrong? 🤦♀️
I can already see the rave reviews pouring in. “A cinematic triumph!” “A must-see for the whole family!” “Finally, a movie that accurately portrays the horrors of modern society!” Okay, maybe not. But hey, at least it’s something to do on a rainy day, right? Or maybe just read the book. It’s probably better. 🤷♂️
And let’s not forget the original masterpiece by Roald Dahl, published in the distant past of 1980. A true classic… that is now being subjected to this… thing. Look, I love a good adaptation as much as the next guy, but sometimes you just have to ask: “Why?” 🤔 Was there really a demand for a modern take on The Twits? Did anyone wake up one morning and think, “You know what the world needs? More Twits!”? I highly doubt it. 🤨
But hey, who am I to judge? Maybe this movie will be a surprise hit. Maybe it will win awards. Maybe pigs will fly. 🐷 Anything is possible, right? But let’s be real, it’s probably going to be a dumpster fire. 🔥 A gloriously awful, hilariously bad, so-bad-it’s-good dumpster fire. And you know what? I’ll probably still watch it. Because I’m a glutton for punishment. And because I secretly love seeing talented people make questionable choices. 😈
So, there you have it. The Twits. A movie that promises to be either the best thing ever or the worst thing ever. Or, more likely, somewhere in between. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you. And if you actually enjoy it, please seek professional help. 😜
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
