It’s the end of the world as we know it, and Ridley Scott feels fine 🌎💀! His latest masterpiece, The Dog Stars, is coming to a theater near you, and it’s going to be a real blast…of radiation and despair 🌊. Based on Peter Heller’s bestselling novel, this post-apocalyptic thriller follows a young pilot named Hig (played by Jacob Elordi, because who doesn’t love a handsome pilot? 🚀) as he navigates a world where humans are scarce and survivors are just trying to stay alive 🤯.
But don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom! Hig has his trusty dog by his side, and together they team up with a gruff military survivalist named Bangley (played by Josh Brolin, because who doesn’t love a gruff military survivalist? 🤪) to create a cozy little homestead in an abandoned airport hangar 🏠. It’s like a post-apocalyptic Airbnb, minus the avocado toast and Wi-Fi 📴.
However, things take a turn for the worse (because, you know, it’s the end of the world 🌪️) when Hig intercepts a mysterious transmission on the radio, and suddenly he’s all like, “Hope and humanity? Yeah, I’ll just go find those things real quick 🚶♂️.” Spoiler alert: it doesn’t go well 🙅♂️.
The film also stars Margaret Qualley, Allison Janney, Benedict Wong, and Guy Pearce, because why not? It’s not like the world is ending or anything 🤣. And Ridley Scott, the mastermind behind this masterpiece, thinks it might just be his best film yet 🎥. I mean, who needs Gladiator or Alien when you have The Dog Stars? 🙄
In an interview with Dazed, Scott said, “The one I just finished, The Dog Stars, [shot for just 34 days]. It’s the speed of a TV show, but maybe my best movie 📺.” Wow, 34 days? That’s like, a really long weekend 🤩. And by “maybe my best movie,” I’m sure he means “definitely my best movie, and if you don’t like it, you’re wrong 🙄.”
The Dog Stars hits theaters on August 28, 2026, so mark your calendars…or don’t, because the world might actually end before then 📆. In the meantime, you can check out the official poster, which features a lot of dusty landscapes and a dog 🐶. Because, priorities 🐾.
And if you’re feeling nostalgic for other beloved franchises that desperately need a new sequel, don’t worry, we’ve got you covered 🤗. From Ghostbusters to The Matrix, we’ve got the scoop on all the movies that should be made, but probably won’t be 🎬. So grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the apocalypse 🍿! 🌟
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
