Oh, boy, another May the Fourth? 🙄 As if we haven’t had enough of this “galaxy far, far away” nonsense shoved down our throats every year. Prepare yourselves, folks, for a day of grown adults pretending to be Jedi and arguing about which obscure character is the most powerful. May the cringe be with you! ✨
So, you’re telling me that after *checks notes* almost FIFTY YEARS of this space opera saga, you still haven’t had enough? 🤯 Well, buckle up, buttercups, because we’ve got a totally “original” list of things to stream on Disney+ this May the Fourth. Because, you know, Disney needs more of your money. 💰 Some of these choices are “timely” because of anniversaries (yay, more nostalgia!), others are related to upcoming projects (more hype!), and some… well, some just “nail the spirit of *Star Wars*.” Whatever that means. 🤷♂️
Alright, alright, enough stalling. Let’s dive into this list of *totally* essential *Star Wars* viewing, shall we? And remember, if you disagree with my objectively correct opinions, you’re probably a Sith Lord. 😈
5) *Star Wars Visions*, Volume 1
Oh, look, it’s anime *Star Wars*! 🙄 Because what this franchise *really* needed was more weeb pandering. Don’t get me wrong, some of these shorts are visually stunning, but let’s be real, it’s just *Star Wars* with bigger eyes and more screaming. And they are making more! Because we needed that!
Apparently, they are going to make more of some of these stories. Because the world needs more *Star Wars* spin-offs.
If you’re desperate for something slightly different, or you just really, *really* love anime, then I guess you can give *Visions* a try. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when you start using Japanese honorifics in your *Star Wars* fanfic. ✍️
4) *Star Wars: Episode VII—The Force Awakens*
Ah, yes, *The Force Awakens*. The movie that promised to bring *Star Wars* back to its former glory, only to deliver a slightly shinier version of *A New Hope*. 🙄 It’s been ten years since this movie came out, so that means you are getting old! Congrats!
Sure, it’s got some fun moments, and the new cast is… fine, I guess. But let’s not pretend this movie isn’t basically a carbon copy of the original. “It’s like poetry, it rhymes,” said George Lucas. More like plagiarism, but whatever. 🤷♀️
If you’re feeling nostalgic for a time when *Star Wars* wasn’t completely ruined (lol), then *The Force Awakens* might be worth a rewatch. Just try to ignore the fact that J.J. Abrams completely face-planted with *The Rise of Skywalker*. 🤦♂️
3) *Star Wars Rebels*
Oh, joy, a kids’ show! 🎉 Because nothing says “May the Fourth” like watching a bunch of cartoon characters fight the Empire. Look at these characters, who cares about them!
Okay, okay, *Rebels* isn’t *terrible*. It actually does a decent job of expanding the *Star Wars* universe and filling in some gaps in the timeline. Plus, it introduces some characters who later show up in *The Mandalorian* and *Ahsoka*.
If you’re a completionist who needs to consume every single piece of *Star Wars* content, then go ahead and watch *Rebels*. But don’t expect it to be the next *Breaking Bad* or something. 🙅♀️
“May The Fourth is a great time to catch up on arguably the best *Star Wars* series made on Disney+.”
🙄 Riiiiight. Sure it is. If you say so.
2) *Star Wars: Episode III—Revenge of the Sith*
From hated to beloved! It’s *Revenge of the Sith*!
This movie is a melodramatic mess with wooden acting and dialogue so bad it’s good. But hey, at least it has some cool lightsaber battles and the iconic “I have the high ground!” scene. ⛰️
If you’re in the mood for some unintentional comedy and a healthy dose of angst, then *Revenge of the Sith* is the perfect May the Fourth movie for you. Just don’t blame me if you start quoting Darth Vader in your everyday conversations. 🗣️
(And yes, I fully expect everyone to do their best Ewan McGregor impression whenever Obi-Wan pops up on screen. “Hello there!”) 👋
1) *Andor* + *Rogue One: A Star Wars Story*
Okay, fine, I’ll admit it. *Andor* is actually pretty good. 🤫 It’s a gritty, grounded take on the *Star Wars* universe that focuses on the ordinary people fighting against the Empire. No Jedi, no Sith, just regular folks trying to survive.
And *Rogue One* is a solid prequel that adds some much-needed context to the events of *A New Hope*. Plus, it has a satisfyingly bleak ending. 💀
If you’re looking for something a little more mature and thought-provoking this May the Fourth, then *Andor* and *Rogue One* are definitely worth checking out. Just don’t expect any Ewoks or Jar Jar Binks. 🐻
So, there you have it, folks. My totally unbiased and objective list of things to stream on Disney+ this May the Fourth. Now go forth and consume, and may the Force be with you… or whatever. 😴
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
