Star Citizen, the galaxy’s most expensive PowerPoint presentation masquerading as a video game, is at it again with the announcement of its latest DLC, «BRATislava» 🚀. For a mere $60,000 — that’s $7,000 more than the infamous «Legatus» DLC — players won’t just get shiny new spaceships and missions. No, this time, they’ll also receive the entirety of Slovenia 🇸🇮, a small country in Central Europe, to do with as they please. Because why not?
BRATislava DLC: Pay $60K for Spaceships and… Slovenia? 😱🛸
The «BRATislava» DLC, set to be part of the elusive Squadron 42 expansion, promises an «immersive geopolitical experience» alongside traditional space exploration. While players may have anticipated alien planets or futuristic cities, Slovenia’s inclusion has left the gaming community baffled. Residents of Slovenia, however, seem oddly pleased. «We are thrilled that our humble republic has finally ascended to galactic significance,» said one Slovak official, hilariously mistaking their country for Slovakia 🇸🇰. The mix-up has only added to the chaos, with Slovak memes flooding the internet and Slovenian pride taking a bizarre patriotic turn.
Cloud Imperium Group, the developers behind Star Citizen, insists this is a groundbreaking leap in gaming. «We’ve always strived to push the boundaries of what’s possible,» stated the company’s spokesperson. «Owning a nation is just the next logical step. And we’re starting with Slovenia because, honestly, it was the most affordable.» In-game, Slovenia will serve as a spacefaring hub where pilots can refuel, trade exotic goods like potica and žganci, and attend karaoke sessions featuring polka remixes of galactic anthems 🎤.
The DLC is not without controversy. Critics have slammed the price tag, calling it «obscene» and «proof Star Citizen is just a Ponzi scheme for space nerds.» But die-hard fans are defending the move, citing the real-world benefits: «For $60,000, I don’t just get Slovenia in-game — I also get to say I own a country IRL!» crowed one player on Reddit. Meanwhile, Slovenians themselves are already preparing for interstellar tourism, with Ljubljana set to become the first «Space Vegas» in history 🎰.
What’s next for Star Citizen? Rumors are swirling that the developers are in talks with Lichtenstein for a $90,000 DLC titled «Galactic Royalty» 👑, but negotiations are reportedly stalled over who gets to design the in-game castle. One thing’s for sure: Star Citizen continues to blur the lines between gaming, absurdity, and economic satire — all while burning through players’ wallets faster than a spaceship in hyperspace 🔥🛸.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
