😱 From Bra Hero to Sofa Avenger: Jason Statham’s Wackiest Roles Yet! 🏚
Jason Statham, the action movie veteran and human embodiment of clenched jaws, has always thrilled us with his fearless stunts,…
Month: January 2025
Girl Fireman Rushes Into Burning Building To Tell Victim He’s Too Heavy But The Real Firemen Will Be Here In 15 Minutes
LOS ANGELES, CA — Girl firefighter Melissa Sandros risked life and limb yesterday as she entered a burning building to…
Song At Funeral Comforts Everyone By Telling Them There’s No Heaven, Religion Is A Lie, And Everything Is Ultimately Meaningless
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Mourners who had gathered at the National Cathedral on Thursday to say goodbye to former President Jimmy…
Nation Gets Preview Of Gavin Newsom Presidency
U.S. — As the entire nation watched in horror at the devastation being unleashed on California by multiple wildfires, the…
Newsom Reassures Fire Victims He’ll Be Prepared Next Time, Now That He Knows Water Is Useful In Fighting Fires
SACRAMENTO, CA — As wildfires continued to spread destruction across large swathes of California, Governor Gavin Newsom reassured victims of…
Artist Profile: SZA
Read MoreThe OnionSinger-songwriter SZA has released Lana, the long-anticipated deluxe edition of her critically acclaimed 2022 album SOS. Here is…
At Least Child Laborer Not Staring At iPad All Day
Read MoreThe OnionThe post At Least Child Laborer Not Staring At iPad All Day appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn…
10 Things That Caused The California Wildfires
As the world continued to look on in shock at the devastation being caused by multiple wildfires ravaging Southern California,…
Meta To End Fact-Checking
Read MoreThe OnionMeta CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the company is abandoning the use of independent fact checkers, replacing them with…
Notorious Grooming Gang Votes To Not Investigate Itself
LONDON — Public outrage over the scandal related to allegations of ongoing abuse of children intensified in the United Kingdom…