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Day: February 19, 2025

Scotland Frees Hundreds Of Inmates To Ease Overcrowding
The Onion

Scotland Frees Hundreds Of Inmates To Ease Overcrowding

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionHundreds of prisoners will be freed in Scotland as part of a broader emergency response to ease the…

‘I Have A Name,’ Sighs Man Known As Ethiopian Eunuch
Babylon Bee

‘I Have A Name,’ Sighs Man Known As Ethiopian Eunuch

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

ETHIOPIA — The man who became a Christian through the miraculous witness of the Apostle Philip was disappointed to learn…

Christian Couple Praying Their Kid Throws Up So They Can Avoid Hosting Small Group Tonight
Babylon Bee

Christian Couple Praying Their Kid Throws Up So They Can Avoid Hosting Small Group Tonight

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

TULSA, OK — Local couple Mark and Ellen Lindell prayed fervently today for their three-year-old to vomit so that they…

Men’s Group Text Enacts Formal Bylaws Banning Exclamation Points, Heart Emojis
Babylon Bee

Men’s Group Text Enacts Formal Bylaws Banning Exclamation Points, Heart Emojis

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

WORCESTER, MA — A golden age has come to a local men’s group chat after bylaws were officially adopted which…

Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans
Babylon Bee

Cruel: Elon Musk Cuts Off Social Security Benefits For Thousands Of Revolutionary War Veterans

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

U.S. — The Department of Government Efficiency faced renewed calls for independent oversight after news broke that DOGE boss Elon…

The Onion

Iceberger King

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Iceberger King appeared first on The Onion.   Finn McFrameFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor…

Delta Adds A Little Hanging Tennis Ball To End Of Runway For Female Pilots
Babylon Bee

Delta Adds A Little Hanging Tennis Ball To End Of Runway For Female Pilots

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

U.S. — As an added safety measure to prevent further runway catastrophes, Delta Airlines has added a little hanging tennis…

The Onion

Horrified Woman Swears Off Ambien After Seeing Number Of Library Books She Reserved Last Night 

Finn McFrameFebruary 19, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionCOLUMBUS, OH—Reeling as she took stock of the damage done in her debilitated state, area woman Brittany Marino…

Spotify Hits Lady Gaga with a $1M Bill After «Abracadabra» Breaks Records: «Servers Are Melting!» 🔥💸
Gaga’s Success Costs Her $1M?! Spotify Blames «Abracadabra» for System Overload” ⚡💻
Music News

Spotify Hits Lady Gaga with a $1M Bill After «Abracadabra» Breaks Records: «Servers Are Melting!» 🔥💸

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 19, 2025February 19, 2025

Lady Gaga just made history with her latest single “Abracadabra”, smashing records on Spotify with a mind-blowing 123,736,959 monthly listeners…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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