Uh Oh: Saint Peter Starts Asking Everyone At Pearly Gates To List Five Ways They Advanced God’s Kingdom On Earth
HEAVEN — Individuals waiting in line to enter their eternal home were struck with fear, as they realized Saint Peter…
News that makes you want to howl!
HEAVEN — Individuals waiting in line to enter their eternal home were struck with fear, as they realized Saint Peter…
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Cautiously optimistic that the trend would continue to arouse no suspicions from readers, executives at AARP reportedly wondered…
BENTONVILLE, AR — Walmart has introduced handy new “Mobility Cranes” in order to lift heavier shoppers in and out of…
U.S. — Local man Trevor Woden accidentally came out of the closet earlier this week by responding to a text…
Read MoreBabylon Bee Finn McFrameFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a…
FORT MEADE, MD — A group of federal employees expressed feelings of shock and outrage over blatant violations of their…
U.S. — CNN anchor Jake Tapper has announced a new book coming this May entitled The Search For The Man…
British music fans are in shock, and the AI industry is sweating bullets—because the most critically acclaimed album of the…
Read MoreThe OnionRepublican Senator Mitch McConnell announced that he won’t seek reelection next year, ending a decades-long tenure as a…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal appellate judge delivered a heavy blow to the Trump administration today, issuing a stunning ruling…