NSA Agents Horrified People Spying On Their Personal Conversations
FORT MEADE, MD — A group of federal employees expressed feelings of shock and outrage over blatant violations of their…
Month: February 2025
Jake Tapper Announces New Book: ‘The Search For The Man Who Peed Jake Tapper’s Pants’
U.S. — CNN anchor Jake Tapper has announced a new book coming this May entitled The Search For The Man…
🎵 “AI Just Got Owned! 🤖 Musicians Drop Silent Album, And It’s a Chart-Topping ‘Masterpiece’!” 🎶
British music fans are in shock, and the AI industry is sweating bullets—because the most critically acclaimed album of the…
Mitch McConnell Won’t Seek Reelection In 2026
Read MoreThe OnionRepublican Senator Mitch McConnell announced that he won’t seek reelection next year, ending a decades-long tenure as a…
Federal Judge Declares Constitution Unconstitutional
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A federal appellate judge delivered a heavy blow to the Trump administration today, issuing a stunning ruling…
Laid-Off IRS Agents Now Forced To Go Door To Door Robbing People Directly
U.S. — The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) is the most recent government agency affected by the rule of DOGE, with…
Trump Signs New Order That All Female Video Game Characters Must Be Hot Now
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move praised by conservative gamers, Trump has signed a new executive order that all female…
Crenshaw Tries To Kill Tucker But Instead Runs Into A Pole (Because He Has No Depth Perception)
BOCA GRANDE, FL — Dan Crenshaw’s plan to hunt and kill conservative personality Tucker Carlson was foiled again when he…
Dumb Dying Guy In Ambulance Makes You Miss Green Light
JACKSONVILLE, FL — In a tragic turn of events earlier today, some dumb dying guy in an ambulance made you…
Pope Francis Left In Hot Popemobile
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Pope Francis Left In Hot Popemobile appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind…