Oh, the drama! Zak Starkey, Ringo Starr’s prodigal drumming son (and apparently Keith Moon’s godson – nepotism much? 🤔), has been unceremoniously ejected from The Who after a gig at London’s Royal Albert Hall last month went about as well as a vegan sausage roll at a biker rally. Apparently, 81-year-old Roger Daltrey, whose vocal cords are probably held together by cobwebs and hope at this point, couldn’t hear himself over Starkey’s “boom, boom, boom” drumming. Talk about a first-world problem! 😂 April 16, 2025 – mark this day in rock and roll history, folks. It’s the day the music died… again.
The official story, according to The Who’s PR team (who are probably scrambling to find a drummer who can play softer than a butterfly landing on a dandelion), is that it was a “collective decision.” Sure, Jan. We all believe that. Just like we believe politicians when they say they’re “working for the people.” 🙄 The Who’s rep praised Starkey’s drumming skills while simultaneously giving him the boot, which is like telling your girlfriend she’s the most beautiful woman in the world right before dumping her for a Kardashian.
Starkey, bless his cotton socks, claims he suffered a “serious medical emergency” involving blood clots in his “right bass drum calf.” We’re not doctors, but we’re pretty sure that’s not a real thing. Sounds like someone’s been hitting the sauce a little too hard. 🍻 He also claims to be “surprised and saddened” by the criticism, which is like being surprised and saddened that your pet goldfish isn’t potty trained. Dude, you’re a drummer in a legendary rock band. Thick skin is a job requirement!
The real kicker? Starkey’s Instagram post, which was more cryptic than a Nostradamus prophecy written in Klingon. He basically accused Daltrey of being a tone-deaf old fart who can’t handle a bit of rock and roll. He even threw in a jab about Daltrey’s songwriting contributions (or lack thereof), which is like poking a sleeping bear with a rusty spoon. Not smart, Zak. Not smart. 🤦♂️
So, what’s next for the washed-up rocker? He’s planning to “take some much-needed time off with my family,” which is code for “licking my wounds and plotting my revenge.” He’s also working on an autobiography, which we’re sure will be a real page-turner. We can’t wait to read all about his “serious medical emergency” and how he was unfairly ousted from the greatest band in the world (according to him). He also mentioned working on a project with Noel Gallagher. Wonder if Liam is jealous? 🤣
Meanwhile, The Who are probably auditioning drummers younger than their grandkids. Good luck finding someone who can fill Keith Moon’s shoes (and tolerate Daltrey’s whining). We’re placing bets on a robot drummer. 🤖 At least they won’t complain about the volume.
This whole debacle is a glorious mess, and we’re here for it. Popcorn, anyone? 🍿
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
