Oh, for the love of Lars! 🙄 Another “expert” weighs in on the eternal METALLICA debate. Radioactive MikeZ, bless his cotton socks, wrangled EXODUS’s Tom Hunting into the arena of metalhead opinion, specifically regarding “Ride The Lightning” versus “Master Of Puppets.” And what profound, earth-shattering wisdom did Tom bestow upon us? He picked “Master.” Groundbreaking! 🤯 I mean, who saw that coming? Certainly not the millions who also think “Master” is a masterpiece. He even dared to suggest that “Ride The Lightning” is *only* a close second. The audacity! 🤣
Hunting, clearly channeling his inner music critic (because being a legendary thrash drummer just isn’t enough, apparently), claims “Master Of Puppets” is a “moment captured in time.” Yeah, because thrash metal is all about capturing delicate, fleeting moments. 🤣 It’s not like it’s about shredding faces and causing mosh pit injuries, right? And of course, it’s a “perfect record from end to end.” Because, you know, perfection exists in music, especially in the realm of distorted guitars and guttural screams. He even throws shade at the “Black Album,” calling it a “commercial success.” As if selling millions of albums is a bad thing! 🙄 What’s next, criticizing them for having a good time?
But wait, there’s more! Hunting then decided to bless us with his analysis of James Hetfield’s vocal evolution. Apparently, James went from a “kid figuring out how he *was* gonna be a metal singer” on “Kill ‘Em All” (which, let’s be honest, sounds like a demo tape recorded in a garage 😜) to inventing the “METALLICA-style singing” and then “crushing” it on “Master Of Puppets.” So, basically, James went from zero to hero in three albums. Thanks for the insight, Tom! We totally needed that. 🤔
And because this article clearly needed more drama, it reminds us that EXODUS has been playing musical chairs with their singers. Rob Dukes is back! Again! After Steve “Zetro” Souza got the boot! Again! It’s like a thrash metal soap opera, but with more distortion and less kissing. 💋
The article then feels the need to remind us that EXODUS is *not* one of the “Big Four.” Oh, the shade! 😭 As if we needed reminding that they’re always the bridesmaid, never the bride. But hey, at least “Bonded By Blood” inspired a bunch of other bands to rip off their sound. That’s gotta count for something, right? 😂
In conclusion, this article is a masterclass in stating the obvious and rehashing old metal debates. But hey, at least it gave us something to troll about on the internet. Mission accomplished! 🤘
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Reality TV: because gravity just isn’t toxic enough.