OMG! 😱 Humble Bundle’s practically GIVING AWAY demon-slaying and Nazi-punching simulators for the price of, like, three avocado toasts! 🥑🥑🥑

OH. MY. GOD. 😱 Humble Bundle, those glorious madlads, are back at it again with a deal so epic, it’ll make your graphics card spontaneously combust 🔥. This time, they’re peddling the *entire* DOOM saga alongside the newer Wolfenstein games. Prepare to rip and tear… your wallet open, that is! 😈

So, picture this: it’s 2010, and some naive souls thought, “Hey, let’s sell games for cheap and pretend we’re doing it for charity!” 😇 Thus, Humble Bundle was born, a haven for bargain bin divers and virtue signalers alike. Their “pay what you want” model is basically a guilt trip disguised as generosity. Want the full bundle? Cough up the dough, peasant! 💰 Think you can get away with $5? Enjoy your severely gimped version, you cheapskate! 🤣 But hey, at least a *fraction* of your money goes to charity, so you can sleep soundly knowing you’re slightly less of a terrible person. 😴 They’ve donated a whopping $266 million to charity. WOW!

This time, they’re calling it the “id & Friends” bundle, because apparently, game developers have friends now? 🤔 It’s got all the DOOM games, from the pixelated classics that your grandpa probably played, to the newer ones where you can rip demons apart in glorious HD. 😈 And because apparently, killing Nazis is still trendy, they’ve thrown in the newer Wolfenstein games as well. Because what else are you going to do with your free time? Read a book? Pfft, get real. 📚➡️🗑️

And get this, they’re practically begging you to get hyped for *DOOM: The Dark Ages* (which, let’s be honest, sounds like a medieval torture simulator ⚔️). They’re even throwing in two 10% off coupons! Because nothing says “we value your money” like a discount on a game you’re already pressured to buy! 🤡

But wait, there’s more! This isn’t just about feeding your insatiable need for virtual violence. No, no, no. It’s about *charity*! 😇 They’re donating to Direct Relief, a noble organization that probably uses the money to buy yachts for their executives. 🛥️ Just kidding… mostly. Humble Bundle’s cut is: 5% goes to charity (aww, how generous!), 65% to the publishers (because they NEED more money), and 30% to Humble Bundle (because running a website is *so* expensive). But don’t worry, you can adjust the percentages! You can give up to 85% to charity, so you can really pat yourself on the back for being such a saint. 😇 Just don’t forget to brag about it on social media, or it doesn’t count! 🤳

Here’s the list of digital goodies you’ll be getting (if you’re not a cheapskate):

• DOOM + DOOM II* (2024 enhanced versions): Because who needs new games when you can just re-release the old ones with slightly better graphics? 🤷‍♂️
• DOOM 3*: The one where they tried to make DOOM scary, and everyone just laughed. 😂
• DOOM 64*: The DOOM that time forgot, but now it’s back! 👻
• DOOM* (2016): The one that made DOOM cool again, until the next one came out. 😎
• DOOM Eternal* (plus Year One Pass): The one with the grappling hook, because apparently, shooting demons wasn’t enough. 🪝
• Wolfenstein: The New Order*: The one where you kill Nazis in an alternate timeline, because history is boring. 🔫
• Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus*: More Nazi killing, because why not? 🤷‍♀️
• Wolfenstein: The Old Blood*: Even *more* Nazi killing! You’re basically a professional Nazi exterminator at this point. 🧽
• 10% off *DOOM: The Dark Ages* on Steam (Standard or Premium Edition): The carrot on a stick, the light at the end of the tunnel, the reason you’re even reading this article! 🥕

CGMagazine (whoever they are) called *DOOM: The Dark Ages* “an impressive evolution.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, they all say that. It’s just corporate buzzword bingo at this point