So, Gary Kemp, bless his cotton socks, has a new album out. 🙄 Apparently, it’s called *This Destination*. Because, you know, life is a journey, man. 🧘♂️ And sometimes, that journey involves realizing you’re not as hip as you used to be and London is now overrun by “influencers.” Shudder. 🥶 Let’s dive into this existential crisis, shall we?
Gary, looking suspiciously good for 65 – probably sold his soul to the Blitz Club gods 😈– had a moment of clarity after lunch with Pete Townshend. Because, obviously, if you’re not constantly creating, Pete will judge you. The pressure! 😩 Anyway, Gary wrote a song on the tube (subway for you Americans 🇺🇸). *Borrowed Town* is about how London isn’t his anymore. Wah! 😭 Someone get this man a Werther’s Original and a comfy armchair. He’s feeling OLD. 👴
Apparently, Gary was in a “bad place, emotionally” when starting this album. Oh, the drama! 🎭 He needed Richard Hawley to give him a pep talk. Richard, bless his Sheffield heart, told Gary to just “write a fucking brilliant song.” Profanity! 😲 The result? *Work*, a song about Gary’s dad and the struggles of being a printer. I’m sure Frank Kemp is thrilled to be immortalized in a song about nervous breakdowns and shoe shortages. 🖨️👟
Gary then regaled us with tales of Spandau Ballet. Apparently, writing songs for Tony Hadley was HARD. 🎤 Imagine having to tailor your artistic vision to fit someone else’s voice. The horror! 😱 He reveals *Through The Barricades* was REALLY his song. Like, super duper his. He only let Spandau have it because it was about “other people.” So generous! 😇
And then there’s the drama of the Spandau reunion that wasn’t. Apparently, Seal was supposed to replace Tony Hadley. SEAL! 🦭 Can you even imagine? But then Seal bailed, and they ended up with some West End singer. Gary says it was a disaster. I’m shocked! 🙄 He hasn’t spoken to Tony since a motor racing event in Hong Kong. Sounds like the perfect setting for a band breakup, TBH. 🏎️💨
So, could Spandau Ballet ever reunite? Gary says he’s not angry with Tony and there are “good offers” for shows. Translation: Money talks. 💰🤑 But he also wants to “say goodbye properly” and “leave the door open.” So basically, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. 🍰
Despite all the angst and drama, Gary seems to be doing okay. He’s got his solo career, his Pink Floyd tribute band (Saucerful Of Secrets – how original! 👽), and his podcast with Guy Pratt (Rockonteurs – because everyone needs a podcast, right? 🎤). He’s found an audience that “gets him now.” Whatever that means. 🤔
The album is out now, in various formats, including “Red Gold Vinyl.” Fancy! 🍷 So go buy it, or don’t. Gary will probably write another song about it either way. 🤷♂️ He ends with the bombshell that he’s back at the piano, “worrying again.” Oh, Gary, never change. 😂
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
