Alright, listen up, you geriatric rockers! 👴👵 The Who, those purveyors of smashed guitars and tinnitus-inducing anthems, are apparently lumbering back onto the stage for one last cash grab… I mean, “farewell tour” of the U.S. and Canada. Because, you know, they haven’t milked that cow enough already. 🐄💸 Full tour routing and ticketing information is available below, if you’re into that sort of thing. I mean, who am I kidding? Your grandpa probably already has tickets. 🎫
So, the dynamic duo of Roger Daltrey (the one who still kinda hits the notes… sometimes) and Pete Townshend (the one who probably needs a walker but refuses to admit it) decided to grace us with their presence at a press conference. Live from the Iconic Images gallery in Piccadilly, London, no less! 🇬🇧 Fancy. You can watch them wax poetic about their impending retirement tour, cleverly titled “The Song Is Over – The North American Farewell Tour.” Named after their 1971 “classic” song. Classic? More like “overplayed on classic rock radio until you want to smash your own guitar.” 🎸
And get this: the press conference featured a rare piece of Who memorabilia! An American football helmet from the sleeve of their 1974 album “Odds & Sods,” recently returned from the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. 🏈 Because nothing screams “British rock legends” like an American football helmet. 🙄 Makes perfect sense, right? I mean, they’re only trying to appeal to the American audience that still gives them money, right?
Daltrey, bless his heart, says: “Every musician’s dream in the early ’60s was to make it big in the U.S. charts.” Yeah, no kidding. $$$$ “America has always been great!” Cue the patriotic music! 🇺🇸 He even goes on about “generational rebellion” and “musical freedom.” Dude, you’re like 80 years old. What rebellion? Rebelling against your orthopedic shoes? 😂 “Thanks for being there for us and look forward to seeing you one last time.” One last time… until the next farewell tour in five years. 🗓️
Townshend, ever the philosopher (or maybe just confused), chimes in: “Well, all good things must come to an end.” Except, apparently, The Who’s touring career. 🔄 He reminisces about hippies smoking dope and feeling equal. Ah, the good old days when you could get away with anything! 🌿 “Today, Roger and I still carry the banner for the late Keith Moon and John Entwistle.” Translation: “We’re the only ones left who can still kinda play these songs.” 👻 He admits the road hasn’t always been enjoyable for him, but it’s the best job he could ever have had. Translation: “I’m too old to get a real job.” 👴💼 He hopes new fans might “jump in to see what they have been missing for the last 57 years.” Translation: “Please, someone, anyone, buy our tickets so we can afford our dentures!” 🦷
Tickets, of course, will be available through various presales, because who doesn’t love a good presale? 🙄 Citi cardholders get special access, because apparently being able to afford a Citi card makes you a bigger Who fan. 💳💰 Join the “Whooligan” fan club for early ticket access, exclusive merchandise, and a copy of “Live At The Oval 1971.” Because nothing says “I’m a true fan” like owning a live album from 50 years ago. 💿👵 VIP packages are also available, because why not squeeze every last penny out of the faithful? 🤑 You can get premium tickets, access to pre-show soundcheck (watch them tune their hearing aids!), and a limited-edition autographed tour poster. Autographed by… who? The roadies? 🤔
Apparently, Pete and Roger have “rewritten the rulebook on what it means to be a world-changing live act.” Sure, Jan. 👍 Variety even raved “rock ‘n’ roll’s greatest achievement…” about their previous tour. I’m sure Variety was paid handsomely for that quote. 💸 “Fans and critics continue to hail Pete and Roger’s ability to play the long game in music with passion and integrity.” Translation: “They’re old, but they’re still trying!” 👴👴
“The Song Is Over” 2025 North American tour dates:
- Aug. 16 – Sunrise, FL – Amerant Bank Arena
- Aug. 19 – Newark, NJ – Prudential Center
- Aug. 21 – Philadelphia, PA – Wells Fargo Center
- Aug. 23 – Atlantic City, NJ – Jim Whelan Boardwalk Hall
- Aug. 26 – Boston, MA – Fenway Park
- Aug. 28 – Wantagh, NY – Northwell at Jones Beach Theater
- Aug. 30 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden
- Sep. 02 – Toronto, ON – Budweiser Stage
- Sep. 04 – Toronto, ON – Budweiser Stage
- Sep. 07 – Chicago, IL – United Center
- Sep. 17 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
- Sep. 19 – Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood Bowl
- Sep. 21 – Mountain View, CA – Shoreline Amphitheatre
- Sep. 23 – Vancouver, BC – Rogers Arena
- Sep. 25 – Seattle, WA – Climate Pledge Arena
- Sep. 28 – Las Vegas, NV – MGM Grand Garden Arena
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
