**ClubCon: Leveling UP… Your Wallet?💰 Prepare for ultimate pro-gamer status at ClubCon!**
Ready to unleash your inner MLG pro? ClubCon’s back, promising EPIC esports, vendor trash, & maybe, just maybe, some CASH!💸 Compete, connect, or just bask in the glory of NO LIFE-ing!
📅 Date: Satruday, May 17 (mark your calendars, nerds!)
📍 Location: Mill Street Gym (Academy Street Gymnaisum) | New Braunfels | TX (prepare for the pilgrimage!)
Tournaments for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate ($200 prize) & Mario Kart 8 Deluxe ($100 prize). Age 11-17 ONLY (git gud, adults!). Vendor Marketplace: buy more stuff you don’t need!
Early Bird Player Pass: $5 (until April 21). General Player Pass: $10. General Admission: FREE (for the broke spectators). Volunteers needed (for free labor!). Vendor tickets available.

Chuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a self-proclaimed sports expert who peaked athletically in middle school dodgeball.
Born in Halfcourt, Indiana, Chuck spent his formative years shouting unsolicited advice at professional athletes on TV, firmly believing that his couchside coaching was the key to their success.
Chuck B. Ballsy: because in the game of sports and sarcasm, he’s always the MVP. 🏀🎤