I PREVAIL, those Michigan rockers who somehow managed to get a platinum record and a couple of participation trophies (aka Grammy nominations), have decided to yeet vocalist Brian Burkheiser out of the band. Seems like someone couldn’t handle the fame 💅.
Apparently, Burkheiser, the designated “clean vocalist” (because screaming is *so* last decade), has been sidelined by something called Eagle’s syndrome. Which, let’s be honest, sounds like a rejected X-Men character. The condition involves throat and neck pain, which, frankly, sounds like what happens after a particularly intense karaoke night. So, while Burkheiser was busy battling his inner avian, co-vocalist/growler Eric Vanlerberghe (the guy who sounds like he gargles with gravel) stepped up, with some help from guitarist Dylan Bowman. Because apparently, everyone in this band can sing… or at least make noise. 🤷♂️
Today, I PREVAIL released a statement on social media that reads like it was written by a corporate robot: “To our I PREVAIL family: We’re breaking up with Brian Burkheiser. It’s not you, it’s us… except it’s totally you. We wish him all the best in his future endeavors… like finding a real job.” Seriously, who writes this stuff? 🤔
“Moving forward, Eric will continue to be the powerhouse frontman you’ve come to know and love.” Yeah, because everyone *loves* guttural screams that sound like a demon being exorcised. “He’ll be backed up live by Dylan who you’ve seen in this role many times over the years at the shows we’ve performed without Brian.” So, basically, Brian was already irrelevant. Got it. 🙄
“Rest assured, we will continue to deliver the high-energy shows that we’ve made a pillar of our band, and we will continue to perform all the bangers from our catalogue.” Translation: We’re still going to jump around and scream the same songs you’ve heard a million times. “All scheduled shows will go on exactly as planned.” Because money. 💰
“New music coming soon…” Because they need to stay relevant somehow. Maybe they’ll try adding a banjo this time? 🪕
I PREVAIL dropped their latest masterpiece, “True Power”, in 2022. It was followed by a sold out, two-leg tour across the U.S. and Canada. Sold out? Really? Or did they just give away tickets to anyone who could prove they knew what a guitar was? 🤔
Last October, they released an expanded edition of “True Power”, because apparently, the first version wasn’t powerful enough. It featured one new song and three “reimagined” tracks. Which probably means they added some autotune and called it a day. The updated version included the new single “Hate This Song”, which is probably how most people feel about their music anyway. It also included a collab with ALL TIME LOW, because what’s better than one mediocre band? Two! 🤝
Rising to an arena level and receiving two Grammy nominations (for participation), I PREVAIL saw its “Hurricane” single top Billboard‘s Mainstream Rock Airplay chart in 2020. Which just proves that the mainstream has terrible taste. A number of their singles have since been certified gold and platinum, and they have been praised by press far and wide, including Forbes, Billboard, The Hollywood Reporter and NPR. You know, the publications that also praise Nickelback. 📰
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
