OMG! Norman Reedus, the guy who carries packages better than your local delivery dude, is “open” to playing Sam Porter Bridges in the Death Stranding movie. 🙄 Like, duh! Who else would play a post-apocalyptic porter with a BB pod strapped to his chest? Danny DeVito? 🤣
So, IGN, bless their clickbait-y hearts ❤️, asked Reedus the burning question while he was shilling for the new John Wick spin-off. And guess what? He said, “If it was an option, yeah, for sure.” Groundbreaking stuff, people! Pulitzer-worthy journalism right there! 📰
But hold your horses 🐴! Before you start pre-ordering your BB dolls and Fragile Express hoodies, Reedus wants to remind you that absolutely NOTHING is happening. Nada. Zilch. It’s so pre-pre [pre-production] that it’s basically just a twinkle in Hideo Kojima’s perpetually cryptic eye. ✨
Remember that time Kojima and A24 announced the movie back in December 2023? Yeah, all they did was *announce* it. No plot details, no casting announcements, just pure, unadulterated hype. We still don’t know if it’ll be a faithful adaptation or some weird, artsy-fartsy spin-off. Maybe Sam will deliver artisanal coffee beans to a colony of mime artists? ☕
Kojima, in his infinite wisdom, said A24 is “singular” and “innovative.” He even admitted they “inspired” him. I’m sure Christopher Nolan is shaking in his boots somewhere. 🫨 All hail the indie studio that brought us… uh… well, they made some movies, okay? 🤷♀️
And get this: in April 2024, they finally found a director! Michael Sarnoski, the guy who directed *Pig* and *A Quiet Place: Day One*. So, expect lots of brooding silence and Nicolas Cage-esque monologues about lost truffles. 🍄
Oh, and speaking of Kojima’s brainchildren, *Death Stranding 2: On the Beach* is coming out soon! 🎉 Reedus says he “understood what was happening more” this time around. Which probably means he only had to carry one baby across a monster-infested wasteland instead of, like, five. Progress! 👶👶👶👶👶
He also said there’s “more action” and a “definite goal.” So, instead of just wandering aimlessly through Iceland, maybe Sam will have to fight a giant, mutated dolphin? 🐬 The possibilities are endless!
Reedus also gushed about Kojima, saying no one can understand where his head’s at. Well, duh! The guy’s a genius… or a madman. Maybe both? 🤪 Either way, he makes games that are equal parts beautiful, baffling, and bizarre.
So, mark your calendars! *Death Stranding 2: On the Beach* drops on June 26 for PS5. And the *Death Stranding* movie is… somewhere in the pipeline. Don’t hold your breath. 💨 By the time it actually comes out, we’ll all be living in a real-life Death Stranding, lugging packages across a desolate wasteland while avoiding BTs. 💀 At least we’ll be prepared! 🎒
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
