OMG! 😱 Another ‘Buffy’ Reboot? Are we SERIOUSLY doing this again? Hollywood, you’ve officially run out of ideas. 🙄 But wait, there’s more! They’re dragging Sarah Michelle Gellar back into this mess. Is she contractually obligated to play Buffy until she’s 90? 🤔
So, apparently, the world needs another ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ show, because, you know, the original wasn’t iconic enough. And who better to helm this potentially disastrous project than Ryan Kiera Armstrong, fresh off her stint in ‘Star Wars: Skeleton Crew’? Because fighting space pirates totally prepares you for battling vampires in Sunnydale 2.0. 🙄
They’re calling it a “next step” instead of a “total reinvention.” Translation: They’re hoping to cash in on nostalgia without actually trying to be original. Good luck with that! 🍀
Hulu’s got the pilot order, which means we’re one step closer to a streaming service apocalypse filled with reboots nobody asked for. 🧟♀️ ‘Poker Face’ showrunners Nora and Lilla Zuckerman are “developing the next chapter in the Buffyverse.” I’m sure that’s exactly what Joss Whedon envisioned when he created the show. 🤦♀️ And Chloé Zhao, director of ‘Nomadland’ and… *shudders*…’Eternals,’ is directing the pilot. Talk about a tonal whiplash! 😵💫
Gellar’s Buffy is now a “mentor” to Armstrong’s new Chosen One. So, basically, she’s going to be yelling at a teenager for seven seasons while battling mid-life crisis demons. Sounds riveting! 😴
Gellar posted some sappy Instagram reel about Armstrong getting the role. Cue the fake tears and overly enthusiastic congratulations. 🙄 “Her smile lights up even the darkest room!” Yeah, well, vampires don’t care about smiles, Sarah. They care about blood. 🩸
The Zuckermans chimed in with some equally cringe-worthy praise: “She is the chosen one!” Okay, settle down, guys. It’s just a TV show. No need to get all biblical about it. 🙏
But hey, at least we get a reminder of the original ‘Buffy’ movie starring Kristy Swanson. Ah, the ’90s. Simpler times, when reboots weren’t a weekly occurrence. 👴
And let’s not forget the O.G. Scooby Gang: Nicholas Brendon, Alyson Hannigan, Charisma Carpenter… you know, the gang who probably have *opinions* about this whole thing. 🙊 David Boreanaz even got his own spinoff, ‘Angel.’ Remember that? Probably not. 👼
Oh, and Dolly Parton is still involved because…reasons? 🤷♀️
Of course, Joss Whedon isn’t returning, because, well, you know…the allegations. Let’s just say he’s not exactly a fan favorite these days. 😬
So, what about the whole “every girl who has the power can have the power” thing from the series finale? Apparently, that just means more reboots. Because why not? 🤷♀️
Gellar has flip-flopped on the idea of returning more times than Buffy has died and come back to life. One minute she’s saying it doesn’t need to be done, the next she’s open to it after watching ‘And Just Like That…’ and ‘Dexter: Original Sin.’ Talk about setting the bar low! 📉
Hulu hasn’t announced a premiere date yet, which means there’s still time for this whole thing to be canceled. Fingers crossed! 🤞
And finally, we get a list of ‘Buffy’ movies and TV shows to buy on Amazon. Because, you know, they need to make money off this somehow. 💰
In conclusion, this ‘Buffy’ reboot is either going to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, or a complete train wreck. Either way, I’ll be hate-watching it with a bucket of popcorn and a healthy dose of sarcasm. 🍿😈
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
