Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Corsair, bless their little cotton socks, has decided that *we*, the unwashed masses of PC gamers, are apparently too DUMB to build our own keyboards. So, they’ve unveiled the MAKR 75 Barebones Keyboard Kit and the Corsair Web Hub. Because, you know, drag-and-drop interfaces are *totally* necessary for sticking switches into holes. I mean, who needs YouTube tutorials and crippling anxiety when you have *Corsair’s* hand-holding? 🙄
Apparently, Corsair, a company famous for selling us overpriced RGB-laden everything, now wants to be our keyboard-building babysitter. They’re so kind, so generous, so… completely out of touch? I mean, who actually *asked* for this? Did anyone genuinely think, “Gee, building a keyboard is just too darn HARD! If only a corporation would swoop in and *simplify* the process for me!”? I seriously doubt it.
According to Tobias Brinkmann, VP of Gaming Peripherals (a title that screams “I play games for a living, but also wear a suit”), they “truly believe” that DIY keyboards are “difficult.” Difficult? Like, harder than beating Elden Ring with a DDR pad? Harder than assembling IKEA furniture without wanting to commit arson? Come on, Tobias, don’t insult our intelligence (or lack thereof, depending on your perspective).
Look at the picture! It’s a keyboard… without keys! Groundbreaking! Revolutionary! The pinnacle of innovation! I bet Steve Jobs is spinning in his grave, wishing he’d thought of selling a keyboard *without keys* first. What’s next, Corsair? A barebones PC case that’s just a box? Oh wait, they already sell those… 🤯
And the Corsair Web App? Oh, the *humanity*! A web-based interface to remap keys and set RGB lighting! Because, you know, installing actual software is *so* 2005. Now we can control our keyboards from any device with a browser! Imagine the possibilities! Controlling your keyboard from your fridge! From your smart toaster! From your… wait, why would you do that? 🤨
The MAKR 75 supposedly ends the “time-consuming” process of building a custom keyboard. Time-consuming? Yes! That’s the POINT! It’s a *hobby*! We *want* to spend hours agonizing over switch choices and keycap profiles! We *enjoy* the frustration of accidentally bending pins and having to desolder everything! It’s called *passion*, Corsair! Look it up!
Screw-in stabilizers? 8000Hz hyper-polling? Eight layers of sound dampening? Gasket mounting? Okay, fine, those are actually kinda nice. But still! It doesn’t excuse the fact that this whole thing feels like a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. It’s like inventing a self-folding laundry machine when most people just leave their clothes in a pile on the floor. 🧺
And a 75% form factor? “Ample space for knobs, switches, and other custom components”? So, basically, a standard keyboard layout? Wow, Corsair, you’ve really outdone yourselves. I’m so impressed by your ability to… sell us something that already exists, but with a fancy marketing spin. 👏
“Corsair continues to deliver exciting new PC technology.” Exciting? More like mildly irritating. This whole thing feels like they saw the custom keyboard community thriving and thought, “Hey, we can make money off of this! Let’s dumb it down and sell it to the masses!”
I, for one, will stick to my hand-wired, meticulously crafted, painfully expensive custom keyboard that took me months to build. It’s imperfect, it’s janky, and it’s *mine*. And I wouldn’t trade it for all the Corsair MAKR 75s in the world.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to lubing my switches and contemplating whether or not to spend $200 on a set of artisan keycaps. Because that’s what true keyboard enthusiasts do. We suffer for our art. And we definitely don’t need Corsair holding our hands while we do it. ✌️
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
