Regal’s Summer Movie Express (SMX) is BACK for 2025, baby! 🎉 Get ready to shell out a whopping $1 (yes, ONE DOLLAR 🤑) to watch cinematic masterpieces like… uh… *checks notes* …Sonic the Hedgehog 3? 🙄 Seriously? But hey, who am I to judge? It’s not like you have anything better to do on a Tuesday or Wednesday morning than to drag your screaming kids to a theater full of other screaming kids. 🤷♀️ Starting June 10, nearly 400 Regal theaters will be graced by your presence. Just try not to spill too much soda on the sticky floors, okay? 😜
As announced in a Regal press release (because who needs actual news when you can have corporate announcements? 📰), the SMX 2025 lineup is a real who’s-who of… well, mostly sequels. We’re talking *Sonic the Hedgehog 3* (because one wasn’t enough, apparently), *Despicable Me 4* (Gru is back, whether you like it or not 🍌), *The Garfield Movie* (because who asked for this? 😾), and *Paddington in Peru* (finally, some culture! …sort of 🐻). It’s the perfect way to keep your kids quiet for a few hours while you contemplate your life choices. 🤔
“On June 10, Regal is excited to welcome moviegoers of all ages to attend Summer Movie Express 2025 featuring $1 tickets to blockbuster family films,” said Brooks LeBoeuf, Senior Vice President of U.S. Content at Regal, in the official press release.
Wow, Brooks, that’s… certainly a statement. 😐 I’m sure moviegoers of all ages are just THRILLED to see these “blockbuster family films.” But hey, at least it’s only a dollar, right? You can’t even buy a decent cup of coffee for that price these days. ☕
But wait, there’s more! Regal is also offering a $5 Snack Pack! 🥳 For just five times the price of the movie ticket, you can get a junior drink, snack-sized popcorn, and fruit snacks. Because nothing says “budget-friendly” like overpriced movie theater snacks. 🍿 And for an extra $3, you can add Dippin’ Dots! Because why not add some overpriced, artificially flavored frozen pellets to the mix? 🍧 It’s all for a good cause, though! A portion of the proceeds will benefit Boys & Girls Clubs of America and the Will Rogers Motion Picture Pioneers Foundation. So you can feel good about contributing to charity while simultaneously emptying your wallet. 😇
Advance tickets are available now at theatre box offices (if those still exist), on the Regal app (because everyone loves downloading another app 📱), and at REGmovies.com (because who needs a simple URL? 🌐). For a full list of participating theaters and showtimes, visit the Regal SMX 2025 page. Happy viewing! (Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 😈)
SMX 2025 Lineup Highlights:
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Let’s dive into this cinematic goldmine, shall we? ✨
- June 10–11: *Sing 2*, *Puss in Boots: The Last Wish* – Because who needs originality when you can just rehash old ideas? 🎤🐱
- June 17–18: *Trolls Band Together*, *IF* – Trolls AND imaginary friends? Sounds like a recipe for a migraine. 🌈🤕
- June 24–25: *Sonic the Hedgehog 2*, *The Bad Guys* – Sonic AGAIN? Are we sure this isn’t just a fever dream? 🦔🤪
- July 1–2: *Sonic the Hedgehog 3*, *The Wild Robot* – I swear, if I see that blue hedgehog one more time… 😡🤖
- July 8–9: *Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse*, *PAW Patrol: The Movie* – Okay, Spider-Verse is actually good. But PAW Patrol? Really? 🕷️🐾
- July 15–16: *Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse*, *PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie* – They made a sequel to PAW Patrol? I’m starting to lose faith in humanity. 🦸♀️🐕
- July 22–23: *Kung Fu Panda 4*, *Despicable Me 4* – More sequels! Because we’re all just living in a time loop. 🐼🍌
- July 29–30: *TMNT: Mutant Mayhem*, *The Garfield Movie* – Pizza-loving turtles and a lasagna-obsessed cat. What could go wrong? 🍕😼
- Aug 5–6: *Minions: The Rise of Gru*, *Paddington in Peru* – Minions and Paddington? A truly bizarre pairing. But hey, at least it’s something different… sort of. 🍌🐻
So there you have it, folks! The SMX 2025 lineup. A cinematic rollercoaster of mediocrity and mild entertainment. But hey, it’s only a dollar! What do you have to lose? (Besides your sanity. 🤪)
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
