So, apparently, it’s “official”! 🎉 As if anyone actually cares, but whatever. The elite filmmakers are gracing Clarksdale, Mississippi with their presence for a screening of “Sinners.” Because, you know, Mississippi is just DYING for some Hollywood validation. 🙄
Following some “preliminary talks” (aka desperate pleas from locals), the residents of Clarksdale will be subjected to an “official event” featuring the cast and crew. Prepare yourselves for some serious star-struck awkwardness! 🤩
The screening is happening during “Clarksdale Culture Capital,” which sounds like a desperate attempt to make Clarksdale sound like a happening place. The event will feature a Q&A with director Ryan Coogler (who probably regrets this decision), star Miles Caton (who?), and composer Ludwig Göransson (okay, he’s cool, I guess 😎).
Coogler’s “horror” film (more like a snoozefest 😴) is about twins Smoke and Stack (both played by the ever-so-talented Michael B. Jordan, because why not have him play TWO roles? 🙄). They return to Clarksdale from Chicago to open a juke joint in the 1930s. Apparently, this made it a “box office success and pop cultural phenomenon.” Yeah, okay. Sure, Jan. 🙄
Since Clarksdale is so “culturally rich” that it doesn’t even have a movie theater, the community had to beg, borrow, and steal to make this screening happen. Bless their hearts. 🙏
Clarksdale Mayor Chuck Espy (who probably hasn’t seen a decent movie since 1992) said this screening is “more than a moment for our Clarksdale, it’s a movement.” Oh, please. It’s a MOVIE, Chuck. Get a grip. He also said the Delta’s “creative power, history, and people are not just worth watching, but investing in.” Translation: “Please, Hollywood, notice us!” 🥺
“Historic event,” they say. More like a historic waste of time. 😒
Some local activist named Tyler Yarbrough (who is clearly angling for a job in Hollywood) wrote an open letter to Coogler, Jordan, and the rest of the cast, begging them to visit Clarksdale. And, surprise, surprise, it went viral! Because, you know, everyone is just SO invested in Clarksdale, Mississippi. 🙄
Yarbrough said he wants to “co-create something with Warner Bros.” because apparently, Clarksdale is just bursting with untapped creative potential. He also wants the cast and director to “come to see some of our juke joints and party with us.” Translation: “Please come validate our existence!” 😭
Yarbrough’s letter got “thousands of signatures,” which is impressive, I guess, if you consider that the population of Clarksdale is only, like, 12 people. ✍️
Mayor Espy is “really thankful that people like Tyler Yarbrough exist.” Because without Yarbrough, Clarksdale would just be a forgotten speck on the map. Oh wait… 🗺️
The events are “free to the public,” but residents get priority. Because, you know, they deserve it after living in Clarksdale their whole lives. 🤷 The panel featuring the “Sinners” cast and crew is slated for May 29. Get ready for some awkward questions and canned answers! 🎤
“This historic event is a testament to the power of community advocacy, cultural integrity, and Southern storytelling,” the statement continued. “Thank you to every single person who signed, shared, and stood with us. Because of you, ‘Sinners’ is coming home.” Translation: “We’re so desperate for attention, we’ll take anything we can get!” 🤳
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
