Ah, yes, another rockstar finds Jeebus. 🙄 During an appearance on the Man Up God’s Way podcast with host Jody Burkeen (who, let’s be honest, probably thinks metal is the devil’s music), SEVENDUST guitarist Clint Lowery, bless his heart, has once again graced us with the tale of his “saved Christian” journey. Because we haven’t heard that one before. 🙄 Apparently, Clint used to be all about the “rock and roll lifestyle” – you know, drugs, booze, and probably some light arson. 🔥 But then, dun dun DUN, he found Jesus! And now he’s telling everyone about it, because that’s not annoying at all. 😇
Clint says he “had the understanding of God” but only did enough to avoid eternal damnation. Sounds like a real fire-and-brimstone kinda guy. 🔥 Then came the dark days of rock ‘n’ roll excess, where he got “attaboys” for being sinful. Oh, the horror! 😱 But even then, he had a “consistent prayer life,” mostly because his parents made him. Gotta love those guilt-ridden family traditions! 👨👩👧👦
Then he got sober in 2007, and suddenly, God was like, “Hey, Clint, wanna hang out?” But Clint was all, “Nah, religion’s full of hypocrites.” 😠 Because judging people is totally Christian, right? He spent his time finding flaws in preachers instead of, you know, reading the Bible. 📖 Smart move, dude. Then, after a divorce, remarriage, and some “beautiful children” (probably conceived during a hymn sing), Clint felt…empty. 😩 Apparently, sobriety and a shiny new family weren’t enough. He needed…something more! 🤔
Enter the health scare! A torn meniscus, a herniated disc, and the terrifying thought of having Parkinson’s. 😱 Suddenly, the Bible became way more interesting. Desperate times call for desperate measures, amirite? He dove into scripture with the zest of a man who thought he was about to lose his mind. 🧠 And then, BAM! Jesus appeared! (Probably wearing a SEVENDUST t-shirt.) 🙏 Clint realized that suffering was the “biggest gift” he’d ever received. Because nothing says “love” like neurological disease. 💖
Now, the big question: How will this affect SEVENDUST’s music? 🎸 Clint’s worried about writing lyrics that align with the “heavy, aggressive, minor music.” 🎶 Because Jesus doesn’t rock out, obviously. 😇 He and Morgan are scratching their heads, wondering what to be mad about now that Clint’s all zen. 🧘♂️ Maybe they can write a song about the evils of decaf coffee? ☕
Clint admits that worship music can be hit or miss. Some of it is “super-creative,” and some of it is just plain boring. 😴 But hey, even if the song sucks, at least they’re praising God! 😇 He wrote a song called “Till Death” about wanting to stop sinning but was too scared to actually mention God. 🙈 Now he’s all in, baby! Expect some seriously heavy, Jesus-infused riffs coming your way. 🎸 It might even be better, he dares to suggest. 😈
Since getting “saved,” Clint’s noticed some changes on tour. His bandmates are acting weird, probably because they’re afraid he’s gonna start speaking in tongues. 👅 But Clint’s just trying to be a good Christian, melting through those “little barriers” with kindness and patience. 🥰 No more gossip, no more negativity, just pure, unadulterated Jesus love. 💖 Lajon even asked him to lead a couple of prayers before the shows! 😭 Talk about a conversion experience! 🙏
Clint’s trying to get rid of his ego, be courteous, and be quiet when necessary. Sounds like a real rockstar, right? 🤘 He’s also learned that you can’t have worry and faith at the same time. So instead of freaking out about his health, he just prays. 🙏 Problem solved! ✅ The Bible gives us all the tools we need, apparently. 🧰
His bandmates are “fully supportive,” even though they don’t talk about it much. They’re probably just waiting for the “pink cloud high moment” to end. ☁️ But Clint’s cautious! He’s been sober before, so he knows how these things go. He’s also done a few Bible courses, so he’s got some knowledge to drop on those unsuspecting heathens. 🤓
Of course, some SEVENDUST fans aren’t thrilled about Clint’s newfound faith. They’re probably saying he’s a hypocrite for staying in the band. 😒 But Clint doesn’t care! He sees it as an “opportunity” to spread the good word. 🗣️ He could stay home and write worship songs, but where’s the fun in that? 😜 He’s got “work to be done” with SEVENDUST. 🔨
He’s using Brian “Head” Welch’s return to KORN as a template. Because nothing says “authenticity” like copying another rockstar’s spiritual journey. 🤡 He’s had “prayers in front of my bus with people,” which sounds like the most awkward thing ever. 🚌 But hey, at least he’s sending love to people! ❤️ Even if it’s mixed with some old anger. 🔥
Clint’s constantly praying about whether he should stay with SEVENDUST or go full-on worship. 🤔 But for now, God wants him in this role. And who are we to argue with the Almighty? 🙏 So get ready for some heavy, Jesus-infused SEVENDUST songs coming your way! 🎸 It’s gonna be lit! 🔥 (In a biblical sense, of course.) 😇
Remember that “wild drunken night” in Slovakia where Clint trashed his hotel room and got fired from KORN? 🍻 Yeah, that was a low point. But hey, at least it led to sobriety! He’s been sober for almost 18 years now, although he recently realized he had the wrong sobriety date. 📅 Oops! 😬 Gotta be honest with God, right? 🙏
This year has been tough, but he hasn’t thought about drinking. That’s a “God thing,” not a “me thing.” So before you give him any “atta boys,” give credit to the Big Man Upstairs. 👆 He encourages people to open their minds and hearts to Jesus. It helped an “old country dude” find peace in true chaos. 🤠
SEVENDUST recently toured with DISTURBED, which is kind of ironic, considering the latter’s name. 🤪 They’re still touring in support of “Truth Killer,” which is probably about Jesus slaying the demons of doubt. 😈 The album features the original lineup, so get ready for some classic SEVENDUST goodness! 🤘
Last fall, they celebrated the 21st anniversary of “Seasons,” which is old enough to drink now. 🍻 “Enemy” was a Top 10 Rock single, and “Face To Face” is still a fan favorite. 💖 “Seasons” was the last album with Clint for a while, but he came back in 2008 and hasn’t left since. 🚪 Probably because Jesus told him to stay. 🙏
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
