OMG! 😱 After those two randos, Erin Fitzgerald and Yuri Lowenthal (whoever they are 🤷♀️), and a super-secret domain name that totally didn’t leak months ago, we’re FINALLY getting Persona 4 Revival! Yes, another remake, because Atlus clearly has NO original ideas left. 😴 Announced at the Xbox Games Showcase 2025, because who needs PlayStation anyway? 🤣
The “teaser” trailer (more like a slideshow, tbh 🙄) shows off Inaba, which, let’s be real, is just a boring countryside town. 🌾 We got the Naganaki Shrine (ooh, spooky 👻), Yasogami High School (get ready for some cringe high school drama 😫), and the Central Shopping District (aka the only place with Wi-Fi 📶). And of course, the obligatory CRT TVs showing the Midnight Channel. Groundbreaking stuff. 🙄 Yu Narukami is jogging. Riveting. 🏃♂️💨
Just like Persona 3 Reload (another cash grab 🤑), we can expect “revamped visuals” (aka slightly better graphics that still look outdated 🤡), “quality of life changes” (because the original was unplayable, apparently 💀), and “retouched gameplay mechanics” (aka they’re gonna mess something up, guaranteed 💯). Oh, and they MIGHT fix the “outdated views” on gender and sexuality. Maybe. 🙄 Don’t expect any new characters, because why bother being creative? 🤷♀️ Instead, we’ll get more Personas (gotta catch ’em all! 🤪), outfits (dress-up simulator, anyone? 👗), and animated cutscenes (skip!).
Kazuhisa Wada (who?) says it’ll be “fresh and surprising.” Yeah, sure, just like my grandma’s cooking. 👵 P-STUDIO is “actively preparing for the future development of the Persona series.” Translation: Persona 6 is coming… eventually. 🐌 Get ready to wait another decade! 🗓️
CGM’s Zubi Khan gave Persona 3 Reload a 9/10, calling it a “radiant remake.” Okay, Zubi, we get it, you like the game. 🙄 But let’s be real, it’s just another remake in a long line of remakes. ♻️
Persona 4 Revival is coming to Xbox Series X|S (lol), Game Pass (double lol), PlayStation 5 (finally, something makes sense), and Steam (for the PC master race 😎). Get ready to spend another 100+ hours in Inaba. 😴
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
