🤣 Ah, 1994. A simpler time. A time when Bruce Dickinson, fresh from his little vacay from IRON MAIDEN (he scurried back in ’99, bless his heart), decided to grace us with his second solo masterpiece, “Balls To Picasso”. Yes, you read that right. “Balls To Picasso”. I’m sure Picasso himself was rolling in his grave, wondering why his artistic legacy was being sullied by an album cover that looks like it was designed on a Trapper Keeper during detention. And the title? Oh, it’s just a *subtle* nod to cubism, because apparently, spherical objects depicted as squares is the pinnacle of musical artistry. Obviously, it solidified Dickinson‘s reputation as a “serious” solo artist. Sure, Jan. 🙄
So, Brucey teamed up with Roy “Z” Ramirez and his band TRIBE OF GYPSIES. I’m picturing a bunch of dudes in questionable outfits playing instruments they found in a dumpster. The album, like a fine wine left out in the sun, went through “various iterations” before its release. Translation: they couldn’t decide what the heck they were doing. Shay Baby, the producer, probably aged about 50 years during the process. It spawned “classic” tracks like “Tears Of The Dragon” (because every metal album needs a power ballad, right?), “Shoot All The Clowns” (a subtle commentary on the state of society, I’m sure), and the epic “Laughing In The Hiding Bush” (which sounds like something you’d find on Urban Dictionary). 🌳
Despite its lukewarm reception back then (let’s be honest, nobody really cared), Dickinson felt it never quite reached his “original vision.” Which was probably to conquer the world with his artistic genius, one slightly off-key note at a time. But fear not, because in 2024, after the earth-shattering release of “The Mandrake Project” (which I’m sure will be forgotten in about five minutes), he’s decided to give “Balls To Picasso” the ol’ spit-shine. Behold, “More Balls To Picasso”! A re-recorded, remixed, and remastered version that promises to be a “fresh and contemporary release.” Because what the world really needs is more balls. ⚽🏀🏐
Dickinson, in his infinite wisdom, says he had a “nagging desire” to revisit the album while mixing his catalogue into Dolby Atmos. I’m sure the Dolby Atmos engineers were thrilled. So, he “put more balls” into “Balls…”. Because subtlety is for losers. Guitars got “beefed up” by some Swedish shredder dude named Philip Näslund. Because apparently, the original guitars weren’t beefy enough. And Adassi Addasi added some “really beautiful work” on “Tears…”. I’m picturing a single, solitary tear rolling down a guitar string. 😢 Some Brazilian composer named Antonio Teoli threw in some “stunning orchestral arrangements” and even added indigenous instruments from the Amazon. Because nothing says “heavy metal” like a pan flute. 🎶
“Shoot All The Clowns” gets a horn section from the Berklee College Of Music. Because what’s more metal than a bunch of college kids playing trumpets? 🎺 And the whole thing was mixed by Brendan Duffey, with “notes along the way” from Shay Baby, the original “father” of the album. I’m sure Shay Baby was thrilled to be dragged back into this mess. 👨🍼
But wait, there’s more! “More Balls To Picasso” includes two previously unreleased live-in-the-studio tracks, “Gods Of War” and “Shoot All The Clowns”. Because who wouldn’t want to hear those songs again? And it’ll be available as a splatter vinyl double album and tri-panel digisleeve CD album. Because apparently, physical media is making a comeback. 💿
Here’s the track listing for “More Balls To Picasso”, in case you’re still not convinced: 📜
01. Cyclops
02. Hell No
03. Gods Of War
04. 1000 Points Of Light
05. Laughing In The Hiding Bush
06. Change Of Heart
07. Shoot All The Clowns
08. Fire
09. Sacred Cowboys
10. Tears Of The Dragon
11. Gods Of War (live in the studio)*
12. Shoot All The Clowns (live in the studio)*
* Previously unreleased (thank God)
And because Brucey isn’t busy enough, he’s embarking on his first extensive North American solo tour in almost 30 years in support of “The Mandrake Project”. Because who needs sleep when you can rock out to songs nobody remembers? He’ll be joined by his 2024 backing band, featuring Dave Moreno (drums), Mistheria (keyboards), and Tanya O’Callaghan (bass), along with Philip Näslund and Chris Declercq. Sorry, Roy Z, no room for you on this gravy train. 🚂
Roy played guitar on “Balls To Picasso” and produced a bunch of Bruce‘s other albums. But apparently, loyalty means nothing in the world of rock and roll. 💔
“The Mandrake Project” came out on March 1, 2024. I’m sure it’s selling like hotcakes. 🥞
Bruce and Roy recorded “The Mandrake Project” at the Doom Room. Which sounds about right. 💀
Dickinson made his debut with IRON MAIDEN on “The Number Of The Beast”. He quit in 1993 to pursue his solo career, but then realized nobody cared and crawled back in 1999. 🤷♂️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
