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Day: July 7, 2025

Vivian Campbell’s Ego Trip: Ronnie James Dio Edition
Breaking, Music News

Vivian Campbell’s Ego Trip: Ronnie James Dio Edition

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, Vivian Campbell, the dude who used to shred for DIO and now warms up the stage for DEF LEPPARD,…

Elon and Donald’s Divorce is Final: World Peace Canceled
Elephant Reads CNN

Elon and Donald’s Divorce is Final: World Peace Canceled

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the drama! It seems our once-beloved Elon Musk, the genius behind Tesla and SpaceX, has decided to stab President…

Delta Flight Turns Into a Bonfire Because Someone’s Phone Was Having a Bad Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Delta Flight Turns Into a Bonfire Because Someone’s Phone Was Having a Bad Day

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another LIBERAL causing chaos! Apparently, a Delta flight had to make an emergency landing because some snowflake’s “personal…

Pam Bondi’s Epic Fail: Epstein File Fiasco a Comedy of Errors
Elephant Reads CNN

Pam Bondi’s Epic Fail: Epstein File Fiasco a Comedy of Errors

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump! They whine that the Trump…

Nintendo Panics: Desperate Measures to Keep You From Starving After Buying Our Games
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Panics: Desperate Measures to Keep You From Starving After Buying Our Games

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, sweet innocent gamers, gather ’round! Uncle Nintendo, bless his heart, is here to soothe your fragile wallets regarding the…

Oops! Texas Emergency Managers Blame Staff Cuts for Epic Fail, Ex-NOAA Boss Throws Shade
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! Texas Emergency Managers Blame Staff Cuts for Epic Fail, Ex-NOAA Boss Throws Shade

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Oh, the Deep State’s at it again, folks! Now they’re blaming “staff cuts” for Texas’s emergency response. Sure, it couldn’t…

Carnifex Blew Up Charlotte 💀| w/ Suffocation, Devourment, Distant & Bodybox🔥
Videos

Carnifex Blew Up Charlotte 💀| w/ Suffocation, Devourment, Distant & Bodybox🔥

Chuck B. BallsyJuly 7, 2025

On July 6, Carnifex brought hell to The Fillmore Charlotte on their Hell Chose Me 15-Year Anniversary Tour 🔥 Joined…

CNN: Justice Department Says Epstein Did Himself In, No Juicy Client List to See Here, Folks
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Justice Department Says Epstein Did Himself In, No Juicy Client List to See Here, Folks

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

The Justice Department, under the iron fist of President Trump, is now saying there’s no “client list” from that scumbag…

Insecure Woman Doesn’t Like Eating In Front Of Surveillance State
The Onion

Insecure Woman Doesn’t Like Eating In Front Of Surveillance State

FinnJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

    Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Attributing her behavior to insecurity about the government, local woman Kirsten Sears told reporters Monday that she…

Matt Cameron FINALLY Escapes Pearl Jam After Torturous 27-Year Sentence
Breaking, Music News

Matt Cameron FINALLY Escapes Pearl Jam After Torturous 27-Year Sentence

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

Breaking News! 🚨 Matt Cameron, the guy who hits things in PEARL JAM, has finally realized he’s been playing the…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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