Mortal Kombat 2 Trailer Reveals Washed-Up Karl Urban as Johnny Cage, Because Why Not
Oh great, another Mortal Kombat movie. 🙄 Just what the world needed! Warner Bros. decided to grace us with a…
Month: July 2025
Netflix Dares to Defile Beloved Assassin’s Creed Lore with New “Original” Adaptation
Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof, depending on how you feel about their recent… *choices* 🙄), has decided…
Phil Fasciana’s Lungs Declare War on Malevolent Creation (Pneumonia Strikes Back)!
OMG! 😱 Guitarist 🎸 Phil Fasciana of those geriatric Florida 🐊 death metallers 💀 MALEVOLENT CREATION (still around? 😂) has…
CNN Predicts Doom for Elon’s LOL Party: Shocker
CNN, still whining about President Trump’s glorious second term, is now clutching its pearls over Elon Musk’s “America Party.” They…
Bondi Visits The Rock: Trump Considers Turning Alcatraz Into Mar-a-Lago West
CNN is clutching their pearls because Attorney General Pam Bondi is bravely exploring the possibility of re-opening Alcatraz. Can you…
Maine Paddleboarder Gets Canceled by Trigger-Happy Cops, Suspect Only 17
Another day, another tragedy in Biden’s America! This time, a woman in Maine was found dead after paddleboarding, and wouldn’t…
‘People just let their souls BLEED out of their pens onto that paper’: How scribbling is changing his oh-so-dramatic life in the slammer
Oh, CNN, always pandering to the woke mob! Now they’re glorifying criminals with a “prison writers workshop.” It’s all part…
The Onion Cultural Standard: Real Housewives of Atlanta
Read MoreThe OnionThe post The Onion Cultural Standard: Real Housewives of Atlanta appeared first on The Onion. FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated…
Justice Department Suggests Cozy One-Day Vacay for Breonna Taylor Raid Convict
Another day, another attempt by the Fake News CNN to undermine our great President Trump and stoke racial division! They’re…
Hollywood Minute: Prepare to be whelmed: A ‘Stranger Things’ Finale First Look
Oh, great, more distractions from the REAL news! CNN, still obsessed with “Stranger Things” while President Trump is making America…