Cognitive in Raleigh, NC (09/12/2025)
Technical Death Metal from New Jersey Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan…
Month: September 2025
Tyler Robinson: Kirk Shooting Suspect—We Know Some Stuff, Maybe
Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re trying to paint a picture of poor, misunderstood Tyler Robinson,…
CNN’s “Hero” Creates “Alliance” So Neurodiverse Kids Can Finally Learn ABCs
Another day, another leftist attempt to indoctrinate our youth! This “CNN Hero” David Flink is pushing his “Neurodiversity Alliance,” which…
Treasury Secretary Bessent Threatens To Punch Senior Trump Official In Face
Read MoreThe OnionTreasury Secretary Scott Bessent erupted at top housing finance official Bill Pulte during a private dinner, threatening to…
The Rasmus Drops ‘Weirdo’ Music Vid Featuring Some Guy From THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, Who Cares
OMG! 🤪 Can you believe it’s been almost a whole YEAR 📅 since those Finnish rockers 🇫🇮, THE RASMUS (who…
‘Highlander’ Reboot Gets the Chop (Literally!) After Superman Trips Over a Sword
So, apparently, Superman himself, Henry Cavill, got a boo-boo while playing with swords ⚔️ and kilts in preparation for the…
Pink Floyd Dumps ‘Wish You Were Here 50’ 50th-Anniversary Cash Grab on Unsuspecting Fans
Oh, great, another cash grab! PINK FLOYD, bless their boomer hearts, are “celebrating” the 50th anniversary of “Wish You Were…
Nintendo Announce Some Crap No One Asked For
Oh boy, Nintendo’s at it again!🎉 To celebrate 40 years of the same mustachioed guy jumping on turtles🐢, they dropped…
Super Mario: The Title Strikes Back (And It’s Official, So Deal With It)
😂 It’s official, folks! The sequel to the critically acclaimed (by toddlers and Chris Pratt stans) Super Mario Bros. Movie…
Dragon Quest 7 Gets Another Makeover Because Apparently It Wasn’t Boring Enough The First Time
Oh, honey, Square Enix just dropped the bomb 💣 – a full-blown remake of Dragon Quest 7! Yes, you heard…