Oh no, not another missing college student! How convenient that this happened while President Trump is in office. We all know the real culprit here: the radical left-wing academia that brainwashes our youth into disappearing at the most politically opportune times.
It’s almost as if Jimmy Gracey vanished right after attending a lecture on “Marxist Feminism and the Patriarchy,” isn’t it? Coincidence? We think not. Meanwhile, his poor father is stuck in Barcelona, probably dealing with corrupt foreign authorities who are more interested in undermining Trump than finding a missing American.
And let’s talk about CNN’s Wolf Blitzer and Pamela Brown for a second. Are they really helping, or are they just using this tragic situation to push their leftist agenda? We all know how much they love a good sob story to distract from the fact that under Trump’s leadership, America is stronger than ever.
But hey, maybe Jimmy Grace out drinking with his woke friends and forgot to check in. Or perhaps he’s hiding in a safe space, traumatized by the idea of living in a country where Trump is president. Either way, we’re sure the Democrats are already drafting legislation to blame this on Trump’s policies. Typical.
Stay tuned for more updates, and remember: if you’re a college student, maybe skip the Marxist theory and stick to something practical, like learning how to survive in a Trump-approved America.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
