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Month: April 2026

Wow, finally, a plane almost as great as our Donald
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wow, finally, a plane almost as great as our Donald

Big ElephantApril 28, 2026April 28, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the liberal media still trying to cling to their failed narratives about our great President…

Events

Because Your Team Wasn’t Dysfunctional Enough Already Coaching d’équipe

Chuck B. BallsyApril 28, 2026

📚👥 Coaching d’équipe le 21 mai 2026 avec Pierre Lescarbeau et Dany Dubé! 🎉 📆 8h30-13h, 595$* + taxes 🤑…

Events

Your Body Hates You: Puberty and Menopause are Coming for Your Lungs

Chuck B. BallsyApril 27, 2026

Learn about female hormones 🤯 and asthma control at Buteyko Breathing Methods session 📅 🌟 Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy,…

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not
Breaking News: Nicolas Cage to Play Spider-Noir, Because Who Needs a Social Life, Anyway? 🚨🕸️
Breaking, Movie News

Nicolas Cage is Apparently a Spider Now Because Why Not

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

In a move that has left everyone wondering if Nicolas Cage has finally lost all sense of reality, Prime Video…

Liberal fake news obsessed with Trump’s classy ballroom again somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal fake news obsessed with Trump’s classy ballroom again somehow

Big ElephantApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

It’s absolutely hilarious to see the fake news media still crying about the state of our great nation under the…

KORN Finally Releases Something That Will Make You Want To Reward Yourself With Earplugs For The Scars Their Music Will Leave On Your Ears
Breaking, Music News

KORN Finally Releases Something That Will Make You Want To Reward Yourself With Earplugs For The Scars Their Music Will Leave On Your Ears

Chord F. DiscordApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking News: KORN and Blizzard Entertainment Team Up to Create the Most Epic Collaboration of the Century 🤯🎸! But let’s…

DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment
The Onion

DOJ To Bring Back Firing Squad As Means Of Entertainment

FinnApril 27, 2026

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide some joy to the nation and boost overall well-being, Justice Department officials announced plans…

Babylon Bee

Nation Longs For Good Old Days When Comedians Were Funny And Didn’t Wish Death On People

FinnApril 27, 2026

    U.S. — On the heels of yet another attempted act of political violence being used for laughs by late-night…

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Missing a Movie Where a Cowboy and a Swordsman Team Up to Fight Crime and Look Ridiculously Cool Doing It in a Battle of Wits and Facial Hair

FinnApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Breaking news: Django and Zorro are teaming up, because who doesn’t love a good buddy cop movie… set in the…

Valve’s Steam Controller Finally Gets a Price and Release Date Because You Were All Dying to Spend Money on Something That Might Possibly Work
Breaking, Games News

Valve’s Steam Controller Finally Gets a Price and Release Date Because You Were All Dying to Spend Money on Something That Might Possibly Work

Pixel P. SnarkbyteApril 27, 2026April 27, 2026

Oh boy, have you guys been waiting for this moment forever! 🤩 Valve has finally announced the release date and…

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  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Picnic Fest in History aka The Great Nosh NYC Picnic Festival 2026 Where Youll Definitely Eat Too Much Food
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  • Obama Library Cruelly Disenfranchises Millions Of Black Americans By Requiring Photo ID For Entry

Editorial
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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
April 2026
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