Newsom Orders Reservoirs Emptied In Preparation For Fire Season
LOS ANGELES, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom took decisive action on Tuesday as he ordered California reservoirs drained in…
Month: April 2026
Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings
The post Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings appeared first on The Onion. The post Fractures Emerge…
Party That Promised To Save America Announces It’s Not Really Interested In Saving America Anymore
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following months of urging from President Trump and the American people to pass the SAVE Act…
Weird, But OK: Woman Carries Child For 9 Months Just To Name Him ‘Walter’
KINGMAN, AZ — According to witness accounts, a local woman carried her unborn child to a full 9 months,…
Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO
The post Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO appeared first on The Onion.…
Ending was like an M Night Shyamalan movie Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as…
Ayatollah Agrees To Surrender But Only If JD Vance Wears This Cute Sailor Outfit
ISLAMABAD — In a stunning breakthrough in the ongoing peace negotiations, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei agreed to a full surrender…
Hollywood critics have spoken! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…
This why every parking lot in the hood has weave scattered around every Sunday morning Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy,…
Night City 2045 is Totally Not Jealous of Cyberpunk 2077’s Success and Definitely Doesn’t Need to One Up Them
Get ready for another exciting installment in the Cyberpunk 2077 universe, because CD Projekt Red is back with a brand…